Football
The Buckeye Watch
By Tony GerdemanAnother year, another win over Michigan.
Soon it will become its own national holiday: “Pummeling Day“ (not to be confused with Boxing Day).
And while some were concerned by the relatively close 21-10 win for the Buckeyes (including Michigan fans, who took the game to mean they weren‘t that far away), I choose to view it as your typical beating by a bully.
Bullies don’t do anything fancy. They don’t break out the karate and start coming at you with spinning kicks and screeches. Bullies use brute force, and they use it well.
Besides, when are you even going to employ karate when you’re busy holding some punk’s head in the toilet. And there’s really no need for a roundhouse kick when you’re stuffing somebody in a locker.
And do you really want to face a bully who actually does know karate? You think it’s bad now, do you really have the need to get pantsed by a ninja who then throws a smoke bomb and disappears?
Not to mention that sometimes karate is completely unnecessary, just like it was on Saturday.
Even though Michigan is so susceptible to karate that they can’t even watch a Bruce Lee movie without getting a bloody nose, the Buckeyes chose instead to go with brute force--because they could.
And it’s not because they don’t know karate, it’s just that the Buckeyes were wearing new pants and they were worried the maybe they’d split the crotch with all of the kicking and spinning. So instead they decided on blunt force trauma.
After all, it’s the quicker putter downer.
But if this style of football gave Michigan fans renewed hope that they are on the right path, then I am all for it. Because there is nothing more enjoyable than beating the Wolverines when they thought for the entire game that they actually had a shot.
“If you weren’t holding my head in the toilet the entire game and I wasn’t powerless to stop you, things would have been different.”
Yeah, we got lucky…
9:30 I’m starting the morning off right by watching the HBO special about The Rivalry. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, my hate isn’t properly calibrated. The HBO special is like a test pattern which allows me to get my hate knobs all tuned properly.
10:00 And now we embark on the longest two hours of the year. Time stands still and watches molasses go screaming by.
10:44 I keep having this feeling that things are going to be close and we’re not going to attack the Michigan defense like we should. Not attacking the Michigan secondary is how Notre Dame lost to the Wolverines, by the way.
10:55 Gameday just showed Michigan entering the stadium. Like lambs to the slaughter who must first run into a vastly superior football team, and do so right in their own living room. The unmitigated gall has never been more unmitigating nor galling. It is beautiful. A masterpiece of pain buoyed by a chorus of screams behind it. If there was a museum for agony, what is about to happen to the Wolverines today would be the Hope diamond, Saturn Devouring His Son and Dogs Playing Poker all rolled into one.
11:00 One hour. One single hour. A long stretch of road. But getting shorter. The final stretch, however, is a dead-on run into the waiting facemasks of those ridiculous helmets. First you break the faces, then you break the spirit, then we go to Waffle House!
11:09 I’ve had a bit of trepidation about the new uniforms, but I’m definitely looking forward to them. My biggest fear, however, has been the talk of the terrible shoes that Nike is making the Buckeyes wear. Fortunately, it looks like the offensive line is not partaking in Nike’s Ankle Rollers, so that makes me feel somewhat better..
11:12 Uh oh. Michael Shaw just walked straight into Grant Schwartz and then started to jack jaws. Awesome. This kid didn’t just poke the bear, he poked the bear and then started talking about the bear’s mother.
11:15 The helmets look sweet. Love the white.
11:18 Brandon Minor is not in uniform. I can’t believe he would miss this game. And Michael Shaw is going to get more carries because of it. I cannot wait.
11:19 I probably shouldn’t be surprised, but it looks like Gameday is willfully avoiding talking about The Game. Oh, pardon me for a moment. They’re talking about Notre Dame and Connecticut right now. I’ll be back later!
11:24 Rich Rodriguez apparently has over 100 recruits visiting today. Those who stay will have to donate plasma.
11:37 We are now just 23 minutes away from the broadcast starting. This hour has been painful. It’s at about this point where it starts feeling like time is moving backwards.
11:36 Noooooooooooo….
11:44 The sparse Michigan crowd is booing TBDBITL. There are a lot of empty seat at the “top” of the stadium. (The “top” of the stadium is about two stories above ground.)
11:50 There are now rumors that J.T. Floyd will be starting at cornerback, which means Troy Woolfolk will move to free safety and Jordan Kovacs will move to strong safety. That’s their best possible lineup in my opinion, but Floyd isn’t very good.
11:55 Somebody just came to my door offering free oil changes. I told them no because the Michigan game is starting. They didn’t understand. The fact that they came to my door five minutes before the Michigan game is bad enough, but the lack of understanding about the importance of what is going on means that they will never have my business. Free or not. I would never want my car in the hands of people who don’t understand what today means--especially when they’re more than likely Michigan fans.
12:01 I am looking live…at Sean McDonough, Matt Millen and Holly Rowe.
12:02 There is a LOT of scarlet in the stands today. Looks like a 50/50 crowd on television. What happened to you, Michigan? You used to be proud. Now you’re just…Michigan.
12:04 I hear it’s in the 50s right now in Ann Arbor. I wonder if Tate’s snowsuit will hinder his throwing motion.
12:07 Justin Boren is fired up. He looks angry. The loudest cheer of the day will be a Boren false start.
12:08 I can’t take it. It’s too much.
12:09 No idea who won the toss, but we’re getting the ball first. Actually, we won it. Ray Small gets the kickoff at the four-yard line and heads up the seam and out to the 26-yard line. Nice position. And so it begins.
12:10 We open up in the shotgun and there’s a quick pass to Sanzo for twelve yards. Floyd is indeed starting, and they went right at him because he plays ten yards off his man at a minimum.
12:11 Boy, there’s already a lot of woofing going on from the Wolverines. I’m totally shocked! Here’s the give to Brandon Saine and Jordan Kovacs comes from the backside and stops him for no gain. That’s where Kovacs is most effective. That’s the only spot on the field where he is a good player, and that’s only because he’s always unblocked.
12:12 Saine up the middle for no gain again. Ryan Van Bergen, Jonas Mouton and Kevin Leach on the tackle. Looks like Rich Rodriguez is choosing to sit normal middle linebacker Obi Ezeh in favor of the walk-on Leach. Regardless of who starts, Michigan is usually strong up the middle for the first quarter or so.
12:13 Third and ten. Pryor has all day to throw and finally dumps it to Saine for a pick up of two and he gets tackled by Stevie Brown. You can’t let Stevie tackle you one-on-one like that. There was room to run if he would have gotten by Brown. The short game is there, but the question is whether or not Terrelle Pryor can consistently hit it.
12:14 Here comes Jon Thoma’s punt. It bounces inside the ten-yard line all the way down to the seven-yard line. Nice job by Jon Thoma! He gets it.
12:15 Tate Forcier is telling people to get loud. I don‘t think he understands the impact noise has on trying to call plays at the line of scrimmage. Fortunately, too much noise from Michigan fans has never been a hindrance to hearing on the field. The Wolverines open in the I-formation. The give is to Michael Shaw and he loses two yards as Cam Heyward smokes him in the backfield! What a fitting way to start the game. Shaw was talking junk before the game and now he’s getting face-fisted. We’ll see how tough it is for him to talk when his gullet is occupied by angry knuckles. Regardless, the legacy of the #20 jersey lives on well. All talk, no walk.
12:16 Shotgun. Another give to Shaw and he gets out to the nine-yard line. Late flag. Greg Mathews and Chimdi Chekwa getting after it. Better be offsetting here. Too much discussion going on. I don’t like it. Sweet, offsetting. Free shots for everybody! That was the Poor Man’s David Boston vs Charles Woodson right there.
12:17 Tate rolls away from pressure and fumbles in the endzone! And Cameron Heyward recovers it for a touchdown! That was easier than I could have ever imagined! Tater didn’t even get touched. It must be in the 40s out there! I can almost see his breath! Ouch. They just showed the replay. Thad pummeled Tate after the initial dribble and Cam landed on the ball and pulled it into the endzone. 7-0 Buckeyes.
12:19 For the second time in three weeks, Jon Thoma is responsible for a huge touchdown by the Buckeyes. That punt pinned Michigan just like it did Penn State. Props to Jon Thoma.
12:21 The 1969 Michigan team is being honored. I wonder if they tried to get out of it. Rich Rodriguez sent them a letter saying he’d like to honor them this week and they probably got together and tried to think of excuses they could use to get out of it. “Tell him we’re washing our hair!” “But we don’t HAVE hair anymore!”
12:22 Michigan comes out in the Pistol formation this time. That’s a new look. Shaw gets the give again and is stopped after a gain of one yard. Let this be a lesson to the kids out there: Never poke the bear--especially if you’re getting ready to play that bear in a game of football.
12:23 Dang. Michigan goes three and out. At this rate, we’re never going to be able to pummel everybody in a blue jersey. Ray Small fair catches the punt at the 22-yard line. Tate doesn’t look very comfortable back there today. He’s moving probably a little sooner than he needs to. That’s good in a way, but also bad in a way because he’s good on the move. Well, he usually is, anyway.
12:25 Wow. There is a whole lot of scarlet in the stands. It actually looks like yellow is the visiting color. Makes sense though since we have as many conference wins here since 2005 as Rich Rodriguez does.
12:27 The Buckeyes go three and out in an effort to keep hope alive. Junior Hemingway loses a yard on the punt return and the Wolverines will start this possession on their own 40-yard line.
12:28 Oh no! Denard Robinson is in. I wonder what he’ll do?!?! He runs right and picks up seven yards. How could we have known!?
12:29 Shoelace stays in. I wonder if he’ll run it this time. He does! He gets five more on the counter. The key to the success of Denard Robinson’s running is the utter unpredictability that comes with him. He can either run left, or run straight, or run right. You just NEVER know what he’s going to do!
12:30 Shoelace again. They’re riding him now. And that time they rode him for a yard up the middle. Michigan is tempting fumbling fate right now.
12:31 Homan is dinged up and has to come off the field. Tater comes back in. Third and four. Michigan goes five wide and Tater gets it to Roy Roundtree on the swing pass where there is no coverage and he skates down to the 22-yard line. Austin Spitler couldn’t get wide enough fast enough that time.
12:32 Shotgun with two backs. Tater rolls right…and finds Roundtree at the twelve-yard line for the first down. This is a very nice drive by Michigan. They’re constantly changing things up and making consistent plays.
12:33 Third and six from the eight-yard line. Watch Tater on the move here. Michigan comes out four wide. There’s the throwback screen to Greg Mathews, who has to dive to catch it and there’s no gain. Nice job, Wolverines. We couldn’t have done it without you.
12:34 Here comes the Olesnavage field goal. He’s missed two of last three attempts. This one is from 24 yards out, so obviously it‘s a gimme. He missed it wide! Just like last year, the chip is no good. And doubt and despair again sink down upon Wolverine Nation like cold, stark reality. Where every Saturday is a Monday and the office is a woodshed.
12:36 Now it’s time to take this ball down the field and make the Wolverines understand the situation.
12:38 Or we can just go three and out. On third and five, Pryor flipped a swing pass out to Boom and he got stopped a yard short by Stevie Brown. That’s twice now that Stevie has forced a three and out with a third down tackle. This can’t be happening! Thoma’s punt is fair caught at the 18-yard line. Keep it going, Jon.
12:40 Third and four. Tater rolls right…keeps rolling…and floats a pass down the sideline to Greg Mathews for 23 yards. Hate the Forcier.
12:41 Third and seven. Tater drops back, pumps, then hits Darryl Stonum at the 40-yard line. The Michigan offense looks very good of late. The three-man front, however, does not.
12:42 Tater rolls right…OH! Nearly intercepted by Kurt Coleman on the floater. Keep toying with Kurt, Tater. Man, if Coleman was 5’10”, he would have had that one.
12:43 Roy Roundtree gets the screen and loses two yards on the Jermale Hines tackle. And that will bring us to the end of the first quarter. Michigan is winning the time of possession battle for once, but the Buckeyes lead on the scoreboard 7-0.
12:44 It saddens me that this Ohio State offense has been unable to attack the Michigan secondary with anything over the middle. Everything is wide--and while that’s fine, those aren’t always Pryor’s best throws. But maybe JT is seeing how accurate the wide stuff is before allowing anything down the middle. So far, things look murky on anything over the middle. But it’s there. It’s always there.
12:46 Forcier throws an incompletion on third down as Sean McDonough gets choked up talking about the Spielmans. Understandably.
12:47 Zoltan Mesko’s punt is downed at the six-yard line as McDonough continues to try to get through this. Very powerful stuff.
12:48 First down at the six-yard line for the Buckeyes. Tough spot to be in for Terrelle, but it could go a long way towards a win here. The crowd is actually pretty loud. Maybe they got heavier keys this year? Oy. Boom gets nothing up the middle and TP bobbled the snap.
12:49 There you go! Big hole for Boom and he gets it out to the 25-yard line. That was a huge pick up to get us out of trouble. Mike Brewster collapsed the entire defensive line on that one.
12:51 Third and three. We haven’t picked up a third down yet, and we need one here. Shotgun. Looks like the speed option coming. Yep. It picks up a yard. Everybody knew what was coming. Easy job of scouting there. Time for Thoma to pin UM again. Please. Mufftavious Odoms fair catches it at the 22-yard line. I’ll give that punt a C-.
12:53 The Buckeyes are now 0-4 on third down. Michigan is trying to let us put them on the ropes and we absolutely refuse. At least we moved the ball out of trouble, which is probably all Jim Tressel was hoping for.
12:55 Michigan opens in a shotgun. No pressure…then we finally get some, and Tater finds Mathews for an eleven-yard gain. Just sending four. Are we afraid to blitz because of the slots?
12:57 Pistol again. And Brian Rolle drops Michael Shaw for a loss of five yards! LOL at Shaw. He may never speak to anybody again, let alone talk smack. Eh, who am I kidding. He’s a Wolverine. He’s probably talking junk after losing five yards. “Yeah, but you didn’t make me lose six!”
12:58 Second and fourteen. Tater finds Roundtree wide open over the middle again. And in the face of pressure. 21-yard pick up over the linebackers. Not sure why we don’t do that.
1:01 It’s time for an interception…or a fumble. Or something. It’s been over a quarter since the last Forcier turnover. We’re due. Shotgun. Two backs. Forcier keeps it and picks up two yards up the middle. Every Forcier carry brings us closer to fumbledom.
1:02 Third and eight. Shotgun. There’s a swing pass to Carlos Brown for a loss of four or so. Keep with the short passing on third and long--it’s doing wonders!
1:03 Here comes another Olesnavage field goal attempt…and he snuck it just inside the goal post from 46 yards out. If there was any hook on that, it goes wide left. Ohio State leads 7-3 and really needs to answer pretty badly. Yes, Michigan’s defense plays much better in the first half than the second half, but that doesn’t mean they’re always this good in the first half. Do something about it, please.
1:07 Buckeyes come out in a shotgun with two tights. Give is to Saine who nearly loses five yards and instead powers forward for 15 freaking yards! Wow! He was running 20 yards through contact. Brandon Graham was there, but he couldn’t get him. That was awesome.
1:08 Play-action, Pryor takes off and throws a shoulder into Stevie Brown, then backs off and loses the tenth yard, leaving him a yard short…dang. I think he thought he had it. I hope that doesn’t come back to bite us here.
1:09 Third and one. Brandon Saine gets it and picks up three yards for the first down. I really like being able to pick up third and short nowadays. It‘s such a different feeling than we‘ve been accustomed to. Wow! Nice pancake by Bryant Browning on Brandon Graham. That should actually be counted as a whole stack of pancakes because one just doesn’t do it justice.
1:09 Shotgun. TP keeper on the zone read and he is off to the races down to the 29-yard line. That’s the first time he’s kept it on the read in nearly a month! How’s that for saving something for Michigan. Wow, he read that perfectly. Graham crashed down and Pryor went around.
1:10 Shotgun. Three wide. Trips. Roll right, counter draw to Brandon Saine and he is gone!!! Touchdown on the misdirection! Nobody told Michigan we could go the other way! That’s two misdirections and 54 yards later, touchdown. See, there are easy ways to score here. Nice job on the ground on that drive. Now you’re seeing how Illinois was able to do so well against these guys. Here’s the kick…got it. 14-3 Buckeyes lead with 5:22 left in the half.
1:11 The 29-yard run is nice, but frankly it wasn’t long enough. We can do better.
1:12 So, will that open up the passing game, or shut everything down?
1:14 Here’s the kickoff. OH MY!!! Etienne Sabino just destroyed Stonum and Sabino is wobbling. Wow! That is the hit of the year. I just hope everybody lives through it.
1:15 Tater is going deep…INTERCEPTED!! Chimdi knocked it away from Denard Robinson down the sideline and Kurt Coleman somehow came up with it! I don’t know how he did it, but I know I love it! Wow! Great hands by Coleman on that one. HUGE play! Shoelace at receiver, eh? It only took Rich Rodriguez eleven games to figure it out. See, he IS learning!
1:16 Play-action and Pryor is looking deep himself…OH! Just long to an open DeVier Posey with Floyd in coverage and no safeties in the picture. It‘s available. Way available.
1:17 Third and ten. Pryor gets pressured and throws it away because there was nobody open. Would have been super nice to make something of that turnover, but instead Michigan doesn’t have to pay for their insolence. Not sure how that’s fair. Thoma punts and Odoms is tackled at the 22-yard line. More terrific coverage from the gunners.
1:20 Third and four. Tater is pressured…and sacked about a foot behind the line of scrimmage. He’s a little woozy. Worthington on the sack. I hope Tater’s okay because if Denard replaces him, then Michigan’s offense becomes way too unpredictable with all of the different directions in which Robinson can run the ball. Zoltan punts and Ray Small fair catches it at the 19-yard line. With 2:50 to play in the half, there’s no reason to give this ball back.
1:22 Give to Boom…he fights through the sideline masses and picks up twelve yards. A smattering of “Boooooom”s in the crowd. At least I assume they were saying “Boooom”. There’s no way it could have been booing because there aren’t really enough Michigan fans in attendance to make themselves heard.
1:23 Pryor drops back. There’s pressure and TP rolls backwards and throws it away…and now there’s a flag for grounding. The pass didn’t get back to the line of scrimmage. Wow…that’s a huge loss. Mental miscue. Big time. And this drive is dead on arrival.
1:26 Third and 31. Pryor keeps it again and falls down in bounds after about a seven-yard gain. Nice job. Michigan takes their final timeout with 1:24. I hate giving Michigan two-straight possessions. That grounding call may be the biggest call of the season.
1:27 Here comes Thoma’s punt. No shanks here, Bub. Dang. Not a good punt and Odoms gets it at the 44-yard line and gets two yards out of it. The up and down of Jon Thoma continues. That was about a 26-yard punt. I just don’t understand.
1:30 And Michigan squanders the field position by going three and out. Nice job. Zoltan’s punt bounces into the endzone as the Buckeyes didn’t even put anybody back there. The Buckeyes will take a knee and head to the locker room. There it is and now both teams try to make their way through a single tunnel that’s about four feet wide while trying not to push or shove. Or, in Michael Shaw’s case, trying not to talk smack without having any ability to back it up whatsoever.
1:33 That place is such a dump. One way in and one way out. Even food poisoning allots for two exits.
1:34 I just realized that I’m playing against Brandon Saine in the playoffs this week. I think we need to see more Boom.
1:37 So if the first half for Michigan is always the “good half” and the second half is always the “bad half”, should I even bother getting my hopes up for the same this time around? Or should I simply realize that the second half is going to be a Jim Tressel half that sees the ball on the ground and the clock spinning ‘round.
1:40 Tater is dinged after one half of football. Poor guy. Football isn’t for everybody, you know.
1:52 Ha! They just showed highlights of Donovan Warren backing away from a stalking DeVier Posey. Typical Michigan coward.
1:55 The Wolverines promptly open up the second half by going three and out. Second and third down were both designed for the slot receiver, but the Buckeyes shut it down twice. The defense has come out prepared. Now it’s up to Michigan to counter. Here’s Mesko’s punt. Ray Small muffs it at the 38-yard line and recovers it at the 41-yard line. Nice three-yard return for the Captain. Wow. There was room to run too.
1:56 Swing pass to Sanzo in the slot and he dropped it. That would have been an easy first down and he flat dropped it. Can’t have that against Michigan.
1:57 Quick slant through Posey’s hands and Jonas Mouton intercepts the tipped pass! I’ve been wondering when the interception was coming and that one came via two dropped passes. Should have never gotten to this point. And now momentum needs to be smacked in the mouth with a rolling pin.
1:58 Vincent Smith gets nothing wide as Brian Rolle looks like a giant to about 60% of the Wolverine offense today. And he’s on a bad wheel. He’s a warrior. He’s not sitting out like Brandon Minor.
1:59 Uh oh! Unpredictable Alert! Unpredictable Alert! Tater is out and Shoelace is in. No gain for Shoelace because Jermale ran straight for him off the edge. How did we know it was a run!?
2:01 Third and five. There’s pressure…and Tate throws back across the field to an open Vincent Smith for a touchdown! The extra point is good. The Buckeyes lead it 14-10. And it all stemmed from one dropped pass on second down by Dane Sanzenbacher. (Such is the impact of one single play in Tresselball.) He will have an opportunity to make up for it though, don’t worry.
2:02 Don’t tell me not to worry!
2:03 We cannot go three and out here. But it’s hard when we’re going to run on first and second down and then leave ourselves a third and eight and wonder how in the world we’re going to be able to throw the ball that far downfield.
2:05 Here’s the kickoff…stay alert…Small at the four and he takes it out to the 21-yard line and there’s a flag. Perfect. Pin us back. I love it.
2:07 Pryor drops the snap and somehow picks up the bounce and runs straight for the wide stuff and picks up twelve yards on the botchery. (“D” botchery, if you will.)
2:08 Another give to Saine and he’s just finding holes everywhere now. This one nets 16 yards and now would probably be a good time to apologize to the running game. I’m sorry for ever doubting you. Still friends?
2:09 Boom gets it this time and he goes the same way and picks up 13 yards. Punching, meet face. Continue meeting for the next 90 minutes. Thank you.
2:10 Boom takes it wide and he scoots inside the Michigan five-yard line! And Troy Woolfolk is talking smack as he continues to get mouthfuls of Buckeye fist. These guys just don’t shut up. It’s amazing they aren’t winded.
2:11 Boom is stopped for a loss of one by Brandon Graham. I think the bootleg would have super-worked there more than anything has ever super-worked before.
2:12 There’s the bootleg and Brandon Graham stops him at the seven-yard line! Wow. That dude is awesome. Oh, and what a terrible call!
2:13 Third and goal. It’s a screen! And it’s an amazing screen! Touchdown to Boom Herron! OMG! Wait…there’s a flag. It’s roughing the passer! What a beautiful throw by Pryor and UM was powerless to stop it, and so they were babies and had to take a shot at Pryor. Wow. UM looked like fools. FOOLS! LOL at Greg Robinson. The extra point is good and the Buckeyes lead it 21-10 Best screen we’ve ever run!
2:14 I’ve seen a lot of answers before, but that answer by the Buckeyes was the face-punchingest answer I’ve ever seen.
2:18 Give is to Vincent Smith and he gets thrown down by Brian Rolle for a loss of three yards. Rolle is certainly doing the #36 proud.
2:20 Michigan goes three and out again for fear of losing bodies by lengthening offensive possessions. Ray Small catches the punt at the 20-yard line and returns it seven yards. There’s another flag. Go ahead and pin us back again. It did you wonders last time.
2:21 The Buckeyes have a chance to end this game on this drive. But that’s thinking too far ahead and you can’t do that against Michigan. Besides, you want to enjoy every single face punch as it happens. Don’t think about the next one, think about the one you’re enjoying right this second. Live in the moment of the face punch.
2:24 Holly Rowe is holding up a pair of men’s underwear. I can now shoot out my eyes with a crossbow and have no regrets.
2:25 Third and two. Shotgun. Pryor keeps it and stumbles for four or five yards. They haven’t had an answer for that zone read keeper yet. Go figure.
2:26 Boom gets eleven yards on a quick snap. Flag is down. Based on JT’s look, this is on the offense. Illegal shift. Offense not set prior to the snap. We snapped the ball TOO SOON. I’ve seen everything now.
2:27 No reason to snap the ball here. The clock is going to run out on the third quarter. At the end of the third quarter, the Buckeyes lead 21-10. Typical Michigan game stat for you: Ohio State has 220 yards rushing and Michigan has 56.
2:28 Michael Shaw has two yards on six carries. In contrast, Boom, Zoom and Doom all have 20-yard carries today.
2:31 Third and eight. Pryor drops back and is going deep…incomplete. He had Posey again, but it was just a yard or two long. J.T. Floyd is pulling up lame. It’s sad we haven’t attacked these guys more downfield because it’s always there. The Buckeyes punt and Martavious Odoms fair catches it at the 17-yard line.
2:32 We had a chance to crush Michigan’s hopes and now with a score here, they’re right back to believing what they should have never let themselves believe in the first place.
2:35 Shoelace is in. What will he do? Where will he go? Wow! He gets five yards up the middle! He stays in.
2:36 This time he gets nothing. It’s amazing how often we have picked the right defense against Shoelace today. But you know how the saying goes, “Luck favors the prepared defense going against a quarterback who can‘t throw the ball.”
2:37 Tate is back in on third and five. He’s going deep. Interception by Kurt Coleman! Now they’re saying incomplete. The ref is saying he’s out of bounds, but we’ll need to see a replay. That’s a pick!!!! The ball never moved and he got his butt down. The refs blow the whistle and we are going to get the ball when they overturn this. Where was the interception at? Would it be worse than a punt? Wow. That’s going to be down around the seven-yard line. Too bad he didn’t drop it. That would have been a better situation.
2:40 Here’s the call…it’s an interception. Ohio State ball at the six-yard line. Yippee? At least it keeps UM from thinking silly thoughts about a fake punt with Zoltan. We’ll get the ball back with 12:11 to play. How about an eight-minute drive here that ends in a 1-yd TD plunge on fourth and one by Zach Boren.
2:41 Saine gets one yard up the gut. Of course, if DeVier is going to be running free, I’ll take a one-minute TD drive as well.
2:42 Third and six. Just don’t throw an interception here. Pryor keeps it and is going to be a yard short. Wow. That looked a bit soft. If he just plows forward, he gets it. I don’t think he always knows where the marker is. Dang it.
2:43 Big punt here for Thoma. It‘s fair caught at the 50-yard line. Well, we took a couple of minutes off the clock, I guess that’s something. Though I still don’t understand how Pryor let himself get stopped on that third down. He’ll probably get talked to about it and won’t let it happen again.
2:44 Have to expect more Tater magic here. He still has plenty in his little top hat.
2:46 Shotgun. Tater is frozen by the blitz and flicks it out to Roundtree for a yard. Vincent Smith is down and needs attention. The football field is a dangerous place for Smurfs. That’s why they normally only play Smurfball.
2:47 Confusion on the Michigan sideline. Denard is in. And he’s throwing! Gets it to Mathews on a nine-yard out route. Wait a second…if Robinson actually starts throwing the ball, there’s no telling how good he can become. Especially if he ever stops throwing it to the wrong team!
2:49 Second and five at the Ohio State six-yard line. Tater shows play-action…he’s looking…he throws back across the field and Devon Torrence jumps it and picks it off!! I thought he was chugging 100 yards the other way on that one, but they got him after an initial stumble. Tate thought he could get away with it just like on his touchdown pass to Vincent Smith. The funny thing about that pass to Smith earlier in the game is that Rich Rodriguez got after Tater immediately on the sideline telling him (I assume), “You can’t do that.“ Well he didn’t listen and he paid for it this time. Wow. They just showed the replay. What was he looking at? Nice toss, kid. Woe is Tater. He is inconsolable.
2:53 Third and thirteen. Pryor keeps it on the bootleg and loses four yards. That was completely expected. And now the clock moves under the five-minute mark. Thoma has a big punt coming. Michigan sends everybody, but Thoma gets it off and Odoms fair catches it at the 46-yard line. UM has won the field position battle today. How many points do you get for that again?
2:55 There is now just 4:49 to play. Tate will not be denied here. He will never be denied. He is undeniable--and that is undeniable. Never has somebody’s undeniability also be undeniable…until Tater.
2:56 Denard stays in. Just like their Iowa game. They’ll try to have Denard run them down and score, and use 80% of the remaining clock in the process. They are so smart. Denard runs left and is stopped for a five-yard loss by Little Johnnie Simon! Our freshmen are better than your freshman.
2:57 Shoelace steps up and scrambles for about seven yards and leaves limping. Football is so mean!
2:58 Tater is back on third and 13 with 3:43 to play. He drops back…there’s a near sack by Cam Heyward and Tater throws it right into Thaddeus Gibson’s loving arms. That’s Tater’s fourth interception. Tater has now achieved the coveted Maize Sombrero! If only Tater was as careful with football as he is with Dippin Dots.
2:59 Cameron Heyward tells Thaddeus that the camera is on him, but he’s not impressed. Cameras have been on him since he consumed his first soul many years ago.
3:01 This game is not yet over. Tater Stanzi is going to get another chance. But he’s going to have to hurry. We need to keep the ball on the ground on this possession and make Michigan use their timeouts. I’m fine with that.
3:03 Second and 22. Pryor keeps it on the boot and is out of bounds close to the first down. A few yards short. LOL at the “Hey Coach Rodriguez, We Love You!“ sign from the Buckeye fans. And a UM fan tries to rip it down. You know the Michigan fan is trying to tear it down saying “We do NOT love him!”
3:04 Michigan calls their second timeout with 2:49 to play. Rich doesn’t look defeated, so that’s an improvement frankly.
3:04 Third and six. Pryor keeps it again, dances and jukes and keeps the play alive for a gain for two yards, all the while I’m screaming not to fumble. Michigan calls their final timeout with 2:38 to play. That leaves us with fourth and three from the 34-yard line. I say we go for it. Let’s finish this game right now. Three yards for the Michigan game.
3:05 We’re going! Pryor is throwing it…there’s pressure, he scrambles and lands two yards short. Wow! That was almost going to be huge…and then it wasn’t. There is now 2:28 to play, down eleven points. Get ready for super prevent!
3:06 Shotgun. Robinson is in and throws into the flats to Shaw and he loses about five yards before the entire team fittingly stomps him. Terrible decision by Robinson. Just quit now if that’s your plan. Amazing that Rodriguez is sticking with a non-passing football player when a passing one would be more apt.
3:07 Shoelace throws an incomplete pass to Junior Hemingway. Mr. Owl, how many Tate Forcier interceptions does it take to get Shoelace throwing the ball? Mr. Owl: “A one…a two…a three…a four… It takes four Tate Forcier interceptions to get Shoelaces throwing the ball.”
3:08 Third and 16. Shoelace scrambles and is sacked by John Simon! Big John Simon! Our freshman is better than your freshman!!
3:09 Fourth and 22 with 1:25 to play. Time for another interception. Incompletion. LOL! I’m not sure where that throw was going. There was nobody in blue even in the area. Ha! They just showed Zach Boren giving an “O-H” to the UM fans. Awesome. Simply awesome. And ironically, it’s Rob Rose who tells him to knock it off. Gotta love the Borens. Thanks go out to Mike Boren for having so many quality sons.
3:10 Apparently there was already one kneel down because the clock is ticking. One more snap will do it. There it is. Ballgame. Ohio State wins it 21-10. JT goes looking for Rich. Nice talk. TP goes and pats some helmets. Second-best sign of the day: “Got Bowl? We do.” Awesome
3:12 Hang on Sloopy in the Big House. Gotta love it.
3:24 Man, this one has to hurt everybody involved with the Michigan program. I think the only people associated with the football team who have ever beaten Ohio State are probably in the broadcast booth.
3:30 In Rich Rodriguez’s speech at Michigan’s pep rally yesterday, he promised they’d be singing “The Victors” “tomorrow at 3:30”. I wonder how that‘s going for them right now. It‘s probably hard to sing the most ironic fight song in American history with any zeal whatsoever.
3:33 By the way, props to yet another senior class who have no idea what it feels like to lose to that team up north. And these same seniors, with a win in the Rose Bowl, will leave as the winningest senior class in school history. Which is the same opportunity that last year’s class had.
3:34 As an aside, it will take Rich Rodriguez’s winningest senior class three years to reach double-digits in wins.
3:35 Assuming he makes it to a senior class, of course.
3:36 Which we all hope he will.
3:37 Obviously.
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