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Established October 31, 1996
Front Page Columns and Features
Last updated: 09/09/2010 3:12 AM
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Football
Wolverine Fan Warns Miami Nation of the Wrath of Buckeye Nation

By Thom Darrt and John Porentas

The Buckeye Nation found a friend in an unusual place yesterday, in the Wolverine Nation.

The whole thing started with all the talk coming out of Miami that the game this Saturday somehow is a grudge match for the 2003 Fiesta Bowl. Miami fans have been barking that bark all week, and some players on the Miami roster have taken up that howl.

Things came to a head a little later this week when Miami Head Coach Randy Shannon said the following about the prospect of playing in Columbus and in Ohio Stadium.

"You see a lot of traditions in small towns and little cities like Columbus.

"But the guys (his players) aren't enamored with it because of what we see when we go out.

"You may see an Alex Rodriguiz, a Wayans Brother, or Dwayne Wade. Those are big name guys."

A rebuttal coming from a Buckeye fan to the revenge theory or to Shannon's remarks might sound like just so much chest beating or bickering between fan bases, but last night a Michigan Wolverine fan posted a rebuttal on the-Ozone Fan Forum. With his permission, this is what Thom Dartt, a MICHIGAN FAN who has no real use for the Buckeyes, had to say to Miami Nation and Shannon.

"Randy Shannon does what people who don't understand Ohio State football and its fans tend to do: Underestimate them and RUN THEIR MOUTHS.

"Shannon, who obviously has his Doctorate in Geography, referred to Columbus as a "small town."

"Pssssst! Randy! Over here! Yeah, um Miami has a population of about 362,000. Mmmm hmmm, and Columbus has a population of about 710,000. That's TWICE the size of LITTLE Miami. In fact, Miami would be the 4th largest city in Ohio, JUST ahead of Toledo and Dayton.

"Then he says his team sees 'stars all the time' like THE WAYANS BROTHERS. Hang on just a second. I have to check my definition of 'star'/'celebrity.' Yep, I thought so. NONE of the Wayans brothers, sisters, parents or grandparents are stars or celebrities, unless they were at the Bellbrook festival. And even then...

"See, what this idiot fails to realize is that this game is about the Ohio State fans. None of the players even remember 2002. Few, if any of Miami's coaches, were on their staff in 2002. Some of Ohio State's were.

"Ah, but the fans were all there THEN and they're all here NOW. And the Scarlet and Gray legions have had to hear over and over and over and over how they got lucky to win the Fiesta Bowl, that Miami REALLY won that game, that Miami was robbed...

"Guilty. I was one of the ones that said they were lucky. After further review, Ohio State out-played Miami.

"Anyway, Ohio State fans have been seething about those comments and couldn't wait for this game. Nope, it's not a 'rematch,' but to Ohio State's fans this means A LOT!

"So, Randy, as a Michigan fan, whom the Buckeye faithful HATE, let me help you to understand what you'll face on Saturday: 100,000+ FREAKING WACKOS who have had time to let that hate and anger for that stupid U build for nearly eight years (And they WON! Can you imagine if they had lost on that call???), who have an anger management issue with people who talk smack about their team/town, who will have several hours to enjoy a few adult beverages, and who want to win every game like their lives depend on it.

"They will yell incessantly, cheer every one of their good plays (followed by the chords of various Buckeye songs after those plays), REALLY cheer every one of your bad plays, and never sit down. Oh, and unlike the LITTLE stadiums you play in, this one is BIG and it will be FULL, and IT WILL BE LOUD.

"See, Randy, this isn't Boston College, North Carolina or even Florida State you're playing. Those LIBRARIES would be sweet compared to the insane asylum that awaits your team on Saturday. Trust me. I've been there five times for Michigan games, and several more for other games.

"You made a mistake and the Buckeye fans do NOT forgive.

"Oh, and one other trivial matter: YOU WILL LOSE. Badly."

First the Beatles said it, then Joe Cocker said it. You can get by with a little help from your friends.

I'm not sure if Thom would like to known as a friend to the Buckeye Nation, but he certainly endeared himself to a few with his comments yesterday.

Related Articles:

Tony's Tip Sheet (see Minnesota, Northwestern and Purdue previews)

Today's Zone Read

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