Time for Meyer Offensive

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Last updated: 11/11/2013 2:09 AM
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It Might Be Time for Urban Meyer to Go on the Offensive
by Tony Gerdeman

“There comes a time in a man's life when to get where he has to go – if there are no doors or windows – he walks through a wall.” – Bernard Malamud

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Oregon's loss to Stanford this past Thursday has allowed Ohio State to move up to #3 in the BCS Standings, which were released Sunday night. Ohio State is also third in both the Coaches Poll and the Harris Poll, as well as the AP Poll, but that probably won't last and some drastic measures may be in order.

Why won't it last?

Because Baylor continues to stay hard on Ohio State's heels, and they're gaining ground by the week. The Buckeyes' lead over Baylor in the Coaches Poll went from 70 points to 25 in the last week, and in the Harris Poll it went from 150 points to 69. In the AP Poll it went from 81 points to just seven.

Next week Baylor hosts Texas Tech and Ohio State travels to play an Illinois team that has lost 19-consecutive Big Ten games. You tell me which win is going to do more to sway voters.

The following week Baylor heads to Oklahoma State, which is rated #10 in the Coaches Poll. The Buckeyes? They host an Indiana team that made Michigan's offense look like NASA after a thousand cans of a Red Bull enema.

Baylor closes out their season at TCU and home against Texas. Ohio State goes to Michigan and then likely plays in the Big Ten Championship Game. I'm not sure if a win over an 11-1 Michigan State team will be enough to get Ohio State back in front of Baylor, but I am sure that we probably shouldn't assume the voters will want to undo what they've been working towards for the better part of a month.

People say the Bears are a lock to lose this season, but I think those people forget just how average the Big XII is. Unfortunately for the Buckeyes, Baylor is only one hurdle. Florida State is the other.

Basically, there is nothing that Ohio State can do on the field that can help their chances, and let's be honest, they aren't going to get any help from ESPN in this matter, either. So, as off-putting as it might sound, it's time for Urban Meyer to take the fight off the field. It's time for some guerrilla campaigning.

Urban Meyer
Photo by Dan Harker
Urban Meyer

It's time for Urban Meyer to go full-on Clubber Lang.

Remember in 'Rocky III' how Clubber Lang followed Rocky around constantly, chastising him in public until he finally got the fight that he wanted?

Meyer needs to do that with Alabama and Nick Saban, and yes, if necessary, he should wear feather earrings and a mohawk in doing so.

You've seen the Oregon t-shirts that said “We Want Bama”? Ohio State should buy the rest of the stock, which I'm sure is at a much-reduced price right now, and have everybody around the program wearing them whenever possible.

Oregon We Want Bama t-shirts

Next week in Champaign-Urbana, Meyer should be on the sideline with an XXXL “We Want Bama” shirt on over his customary Ohio State windbreaker. In fact, the entire coaching staff should be doing the same.

They should already be embroidering “WWB” somewhere on the front of every football jersey.

After the game at Illinois, Meyer should take to the podium and say, “That was just a preview of what we would do to Nick Saban and Alabama. Just a $%^&#@*% preview! If you have any questions about Alabama, I'll answer them. If not, you can cram it!”

He would have 700 media requests within the hour, and he should do them all.

Urban Meyer needs to make himself an even larger villain than people already think he is. It's the only way Ohio State is going to get where they want to be.

Meyer has said in the past few weeks that he expects to have to campaign to voters. What I'm proposing is the mother of all campaigns. If necessary, Meyer can even talk trash to the voters of the Harris Poll and the coaches who participate in the Coaches Poll.

Basically, Meyer needs to enrage a nation. I'm not saying he needs to start kicking puppies, but if he sees one wearing a houndstooth sweater, it might make for good footage.

He has to make the voters want his comeuppance more than anything they've ever wanted before in their lives.

He needs to make the voters actively seek what they want the most – to see Meyer and his Buckeyes destroyed by Nick Saban and Alabama.

The perfect justice for such hubris is to give the arrogant what they want, and then watch them choke to death on it.

Which is exactly what Meyer would be hoping for.

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