Winning is hard

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Last updated: 12/01/2013 2:05 AM
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Winning Is Hard, Just Ask Alabama
By Tony Gerdeman

COLUMBUS, Ohio — I was originally going to title this piece “Ohio State Gets Lucky Again, Will Soon Lose” because I wanted to lure in the the Buckeye fans who still couldn't be happy about a win over Michigan because their team didn't win the way “they was s'posed to”.

I wanted them to chomp down on that title like a trout snatching a fly. I wanted them to see that headline, and think, “Finally, somebody who gets it!”

Unfortunately, I don't get it.

I'll never understand the fans – a remarkable minority, mind you – who were somehow unable to find joy in a Buckeye win over Michigan. Sure, they've been unhappy many times over in these past 24 wins, but I thought maybe they'd be able to take a break from their angst to enjoy an incredibly entertaining win at Michigan.

Jim Tressel called them “miserable” a few years back, and he was absolutely right.

I wanted to address this piece to those fans who were still angry even after winning on the road at Michigan, because somebody needs to tell them to seek help, stop being miserable, and stop making those around you miserable.

Then as I was piecing together in my head what I was going to write, the craziest and most miraculous play that I have ever seen took place – Auburn returned a game-winning field goal 108 yards for a touchdown, and Ohio State was suddenly thrust into the position of controlling its own destiny.

To those fans lamenting Ohio State's win and their defensive struggles, I ask you this – would you still rather be like Alabama now?

You have just seen your Buckeyes win 24 games in a row. You should take a step back and actually appreciate it for once, because it can leave at any time. You know how many times Alabama has lost in that span? Twice.

Winning is hard, no matter how easy you think it is, and no matter how easy Ohio State makes it look. Just because you think it should be easy doesn't make it so.

If winning was easy, teams wouldn't have to work so hard to do it.

If you can't be happy in the midst of a 24-game winning streak, then maybe sports just aren't for you. Maybe try crossword puzzles or yoga, or maybe find an abandoned bus in some Alaskan meadow somewhere.

While your misery ties you down, Buckeye fans are flying high right now. A win over Michigan should never be something that doesn't fill an OSU fan with enough happiness to get them through at least one entire week of work.

I urge you to take a deep breath, examine your surroundings, and appreciate what the Buckeyes are doing. Don't worry about what they haven't yet done, or else you'll miss entirely what is actually happening.

While you were busy being unhappy that Michigan was scoring 41 points, you lost sight of the fact that Ohio State scored 42. And won.

Will you care in five years that Ohio State only won by one point? Whatever happened to the good old days of taking joy in the nerve-slicing pain of a heart-breaking loss to your most bitter rival?

I realize that there are a few Buckeye fans out there who would rather say, “I told you so” in a loss, than be forced to sit through yet another win without the satisfaction of being right. For them, this 24-game winning streak has been one long slap in the face. They've embarrassed themselves in front of co-workers for two years now, and they can't take it anymore.

I can understand losing joy in sports – I've lost joy in every professional sport ever invented save for soccer (I have never had the joy to lose), but I can't understand losing a joy for winning in a sport that you still care about.

If you watched Ohio State come back, and then stave off the Michigan Wolverines, and your first thought was, “We won, but the defense sucks!”, then do everybody a favor and quit sports. They don't need you anymore.

You are clearly too advanced for sports. There is no place for you here anymore. Do yourself a favor and move on. Let the unevolved peons have their fun with their little Michigan wins and 24-game winning streaks and Big Ten Championship Games.

That's not for you. It never was. Sports no longer deserve you.

Go put your angst towards something that can better use it – like commenting on YouTube videos.

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