Men's Basketball
The Buckeye Watch
By Tony Gerdeman

Going in, I thought this would be an easier game for the Buckeyes simply because Memphis doesn't shoot the three as well as Tennessee does.

Boy, was I nearly wrong.

Memphis shot the threes extremely well, making 10-22 against the Buckeyes.

Fortunately, they only made 16-43 of their two-point attempts.

None of those made field goals belonged to Memphis center Joey Dorsey.

In fact, he scored as many points as I did against the Buckeyes, and I watched the game on tv. From another state!

And to take this a bit further, Greg Oden even made a basket for Memphis.

Poor Joey.

It probably wouldn't have been so bad for him had he not called Oden out in the media the day before.

Sometimes you want to tell people to be careful what the ask for, but with Joey Dorsey, this is what you get.

In a The O-Zone exclusive, I have obtained Joey Dorsey's "To Do" list from Friday. I am reprinting it with the express written permission of Major League Baseball.

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March 23rd "Joey Do" List

1. Play with fire.

2. Go to park, poke pit bull with stick. Run like heck.

3. Play in traffic.

4. Get the paper, read "Rubes".

5. Speak to reporters, call out Greg Oden.

6. Chug coffee.

7. Hit bellhop with phone, yell "Do you know who I am?"

8. Stick screwdriver in electrical outlet to see what happens.

9. Go swimming immediately after supper. Immediately.

10. Wind down with a donut.
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Hmm...he must do #10 every day.

Oh well.

You know, poetry doesn't have to rhyme, and poetic justice almost never does. That doesn't mean it isn't music to your ears, though.

We are going to the Final Four.

And Joey Dorsey helped us get there.

Thanks Joey.

Now let's get to The Watch...

4:30 I've been watching the Tennessee game for the last hour. (Just the second half, obviously.)

4:33 Well, Joey Dorsey wants Oden today. Let's make Joey a happy boy!

4:38 Okay, now it's getting serious. Until now, this was all fun stuff. Now we've got another chance to replace one of the banners that O'Brien stole from us.

4:41 We have to be ready to rebound. Are you hearing me, Ivan?

4:41:37 Game on.

4:42 We go right down to Oden and he scores with ease. Joey?

4:43 Dorsey gets the ball down low and looks scared on two attempts at the basket. He was totally fixated on Oden's location.

4:46 Ron Lewis on the breakout...slowed down to get his steps together and got fouled going up for the dunk. You have to make these two free throws since you slowed down, Ron. He gets the first. And the second. You have redeemed yourself.

4:47 David Lighty is coming in for Ivan Harris. We're going smaller, but quicker and stronger.

4:47:23 And it pays off right away! Lighty gets the steal and goes coast to coast, making a beautiful move for the lay up! Very nice, Dave.

4:49 Television timeout. Buckeyes lead 8-2 with 15:15 remaining in the first half. The zone is giving Memphis some trouble right now. I'm assuming we'll be sitting Oden for a spell out of this timeout, and we'll go man-to-man. Othello and Twig will need to rebound because Memphis is going to bring it strong when we come out of this timeout.

4:51 Ha! Oden is staying in.

4:53 Jeremy Hunt hits a deep three. It begins...

4:54 Oden picks up his first foul. He got Hunt on the drive. Oden and Dorsey both sit. Hunt hits both free throws. Buckeyes lead 9-7 with 13:50 to play.

4:56 C'mon, Daequan. Cook just forced a deep three and had it blocked. Then he picked up an offensive foul on Chris Douglas-Roberts. Nice redemption play!

4:57 Jeremy Hunt drives and gets fouled by Othello Hunter. Oden comes back in. Things are getting a little ragged right now and it's time to settle things down. Hunt makes both of his free throws. Of course, because Memphis loves making free throws.

4:59 Willie Kemp hits a three. They've made two of three. Because they're awesome from three.

4:59:44 Conley to the rim, hesitation special, and scored the bucket. Even when he's herky-jerky, he's still as smooth as there is. Game is tied at 13 with 11:00 left in the half.

5:00 Memphis turns it over! Jamar Butler gets it to Ron Lewis for the lay up. Nobody leaks out like Lewis.

5:01 Nice feed on the baseline and Oden throws it down and scrapes the bottom of the backboard with his feet. Wow!

5:02 And then he just picked up his second foul. That's the problem when you play against a team of slashers. They get to the basket and Oden is forced to stop the penetration. Television timeout. Buckeyes lead 17-15.

5:03 Oden is going to sit for the rest of the half. Time for Terwilliger to step up like he did on Thursday.

5:05 Hunt makes both of his free throws. And why wouldn't he? He's a Memphis Tiger, after all.

5:06 Butler misses a three and Hunt comes down the court and shows Butler how it's done. Of course. Sure. Why not. Memphis has now made three of their five three-point attempts. The Buckeyes have missed all six of theirs.

5:06:31 Conley drives...hesitates...and gets fouled. That's the only thing working right now. That was Dorsey's second foul. Conley hits the first. Lighty in for Twig. We're going small again. Conley hits the second. Buckeyes lead 20-19 with 8:30 to play.

5:08 Wow, Memphis is hammering the offensive glass right now. You knew it would eventually happen, but it's still impressive when you see it taking place.

5:09 Othello hits a much-needed baseline jumper on a feed from Lighty. Where's Ron Lewis?

5:09:21 Doneal Mack hits a three. Of course he does.

5:09:41 Lighty drives, draws, and dishes to Othello for a dunk. That's a pretty lethal combination right now. Lighty looks so comfortable out there.

5:10 Conley does his hesitation thing again, and gets fouled. He looks like he's fly-fishing, and the fish are biting pretty hard. Television timeout. Tied at 23.

5:14 Jeremy Hunt hits a 25-footer. It's true. And expected. He's Jeremy Hunt, after all. He's got 16 points now.

5:14:37 Conley with some more shake and some more bake. Two more points for the freshman!

5:15 Conley with the steal, up to Lighty, Lighty kicks it over to Butler for three...nailed it!! 29-26 Ohio State leads with 5:10 to play.

5:19 Dozier gets the ball at the top of the key, drives, spins and dunks. Othello Hunter gets out of the picture.

5:19:30 Ron Lewis drives to the basket, loses the ball on the way up, and David Lighty tips it in with the sweetest touch you'd ever want to see! 32-28 Buckeyes.

5:20 Whoa! Antonio Anderson is down and he's bleeding like Ric Flair against the Midnight Express at the '84 Starrcade. That's a bad one.

5:23 Ouch. That was friendly fire. He took an elbow from Dozier. Rub some dirt on it.

5:23:24 Dozier's going to the line. I guarantee he'll make both here. And he does. (That's supposed to be kind of a jinx, by the way.)

5:25 Ron Lewis goes around the Twig screen for three!! Memphis went under the screen and Ron went up with the shot. Very nice. Buckeyes lead 37-30 with 2:25 left.

5:27 Kemp hits another three. Like stupid clockwork. Blasted Swiss. Buckeyes lead by six.

5:27:24 Big dunk by Douglas-Roberts! Buckeyes lead by four, 39-35. We need to settle a bit here.

5:28 Conley gets two more in the lane. That's what I'm talking about. That kid is amazing. Buckeyes lead 41-35. Memphis calls timeout with 39.1 seconds left to play.

5:29 Whatever you do here, don't give up the three. Too much momentum is gained by the three. Oh, and rebound. We need to get a shot off before this half ends.

5:31 Kemp for three. What did I just get done saying?? And then Butler charges on the ensuing possession. Wow. The Buckeyes took my coaching and just crapped all over it. What am I even coaching for if nobody's going to listen?? This isn't rewarding on any level!

5:32 Whew. Memphis doesn't get a shot off and the Buckeyes go into the half leading 41-38. I don't like the way the half ended, but it was to be expected. Memphis has made seven of their ten three-point attempts, so any future attempts by them should just be assumed to be going in.

5:33 Fortunately, Memphis has only made like four of their fifteen two-point attempts.

5:34 I like the way we're playing. However, we're giving Memphis too many open looks. I don't mind the Tigers shooting threes, I just don't like them shooting OPEN threes.

5:38 I have to go away from the television for a bit. Billy Donovan and Al Horford are coming on.

5:49 I'm back. And they're just now coming on. Shoot. I'll just mute them. Sweet.

5:50 What have we made, like two threes? I don't know how much that's going to improve, because it's not like we're missing open looks. We really haven't even gotten any open looks. Maybe that will change when Oden's on the floor.

5:53 Game on.

5:54 Lewis immediately goes down to Oden, who spins on Dorsey and scores. Very easy. Extremely.

5:54:34 Oden gets the rebound, starts the break with a couple of dribbles, gets it up to Butler who throws it to Ron Lewis for an alley oop!! Awesome. Timeout Memphis. Buckeyes lead 45-38 with 19:20 to play.

5:55 Now that's how you start the first forty seconds of a half!

5:57 Wow. Full timeout for Calipari. He must've been serious.

5:58 Oden grabs an offensive rebound from a Butler miss and Dorsey fouls him. That's Dorsey's third. Butler had an open look at a three. We have to hit those.

6:00 Dorsey's staying out there.

6:01 Oden hits a hook over Dorsey. Good. Keep him out there.

6:01:34 Hunt misses a three! Unbelievable! Of course they get the offensive rebound. Fire up another three, get another offensive rebound. Go back up and get fouled by Ron Lewis. You have got to rebound, Buckeyes.

6:02 What? They're calling the foul on Oden? What?? Where??

6:03 Settle.

6:03:44 Conley for three! Big basket.

6:04 The refs have stopped play to make sure it was a three. Here's the replay...yep, it's a three. What!? A Two?? You're crazy!! The refs are calling it a two-pointer! No way! No way at all!!

6:04:33 Hunt for three in transition. I hate those transition threes. Hate them so much.

6:05 Butler gets fouled by Hunt. We need to get that guy out of here. Television timeout. Buckeyes lead 49-47 with 15:35 to play.

6:06 Back to Conley's three for a moment. How can they give Conley a two on that? You have the video, you could see space between Conley's toe and the line. And given that it was a pretty close call, how could you make the decision so quickly? Shouldn't you check it a couple of times?? Do you have a flight to catch? I know I have homer eyes, but the replay doesn't lie. Unbelievable. Check that. All too believable.

6:10 Somebody go to the basket here. Ron Lewis does and he gets fouled. Let's not forget about the drive, fellas. Lewis hits both. Buckeyes lead 51-48 with 14:45 left to play.

6:12 Chris Douglas-Roberts follows my stupid advice and goes right to the rim, scoring for the Tigers and putting them ahead 52-51 with 13:30 to play.

6:13 It's very hectic right now. Douglas-Roberts gets fouled by Lewis. He'll be shooting two. It's about time for Greg Oden to come back I think. Douglas-Roberts makes both. Memphis leads 54-51 with 13:10 to play.

6:15 Hunt drives this time, and easily. He went right by Daequan Cook. Hunter fouled him before he could finish the shot. He makes the first. Oden comes back. Hunt makes the second, because, as we all know, Memphis doesn't miss free throws. Memphis leads 56-51 with 12:39 left.

6:16 Daequan Cook for three!! Nice kick from Butler over to Cook, and Daequan didn't hesitate! 56-54 Memphis.

6:16:41 Whoa! Tall, tall block from Oden. Could've been a goaltending, but it was too high for the refs to see. I think they lost it in the lights.

6:17 Anderson hits a 15-footer for Memphis. They lead 58-54. We need a stop or two.

6:17:22 Conley goes to the rim and picks up Dorsey's fourth foul! Nice job, Mike. Television timeout. Buckeyes still trail 58-54. There's 11:26 left to play in the game.

6:18 Of course you know, Mike, that we need these two free throws. Aim for the back of the rim, and you'll be fine. Snap your wrist. Don't forget the snap.

6:21 Conley hits his first...and his second! Memphis leads 58-56.

6:23 Chris Douglas-Roberts takes Ron Lewis down low and scores. That dude is tough. Memphis leads 60-57.

6:24 Yeah!! Great save and intentional foul by Memphis! Does the basket count? It has to. It must. It does! Oden got grabbed on the way up and dropped it down. Chris Douglas-Roberts wrapped his arms around Oden's waste like a kid trying to keep his dad from "going to get cigarettes" after his parents just had a hellacious argument. Big turnaround here.

6:25 Oden makes one of two, tying the game at 60 with 9:43 left. We keep the ball. That was Douglas-Roberts' fourth foul, by the way.

6:25:27 Butler drives the baseline and gets fouled by Allen. That's his fourth. We may be playing five on four before too long. Butler makes both free throws. Buckeyes lead 62-60 with 9:42 to play.

6:26 Keep attacking.

6:27 Cook loses it, but Oden picked it up and slammed it home!! He followed Cook right to the basket! 64-62 Buckeyes.

6:27:51 Anderson ties it up with a 16-footer. That was a tough shot. We just need a little breathing room here. Just a smidge, please.

6:28 Cook airballs a three-pointer. We have to at least look at Oden. He's got Dorsey on him and Dorsey hasn't stopped him yet. Play smarter.

6:28:44 Cook with the steal! Conley drives and leaves it for Cook, who lays it in! Great play all around. Buckeyes lead 66-64 with 7:31 to play.

6:29 Television timeout. I'd prefer to have a bigger lead here. If Dorsey's on Oden next possession, we have to go to him. Have to. Oden has owned Dorsey today, and now he can't be as aggressive with Oden as he'd like to because he has four fouls. Oden just has to watch out for the flop, because it's coming.

6:31 Memphis is 8-14 from three. The Buckeyes are 3-15. Makes sense.

6:32 Make it 4-16!! Jamar Butler just hit a deep three as the clock was winding down. Huge shot! Buckeyes lead 69-64 with 6:30 to play. C'mon, Buckeyes!

6:34 Douglas-Roberts takes it down low, but he's affected by Oden. The Buckeyes get the ball and they go right to Oden and he scored on Dorsey with ease. Actually, Dorsey could've been called for a foul there, but it's going to take a lot more than that for the refs to call him for his fifth. The Buckeyes lead 71-64 with 5:38 left. Calipari takes a timeout to stop the bleeding.

6:35 Ha! Oden is outscoring Joey Dorsey 17-0. Joey, in the future, if you're going to call somebody out, make sure you don't get OMG Pwn3d!!!11!1

6:36 Whoa, Conley nearly made a crazy shot, but he gets the rebound, kicks it out to Ron Lewis who nails a huge three! Onions! Big fat onions!! Buckeyes lead 74-66 with 4:20 left to play!

6:36:41 Dorsey misses a dunk, but gets fouled by Oden in the process. That's Oden's fourth foul, and it's Dorsey's first chance for some points. He misses his first free throw. And the second! The shutout is still alive! Oden is staying in with 4:00 left to play.

6:38 Daequan is down in the post now, he's working it. He gets fouled on the shot. Television timeout. Buckeyes lead 74-66 with 3:48 left.

6:39 C'mon, Daequan. This is a necessary couple of points here. You've got this. They're just free throws. You shoot them every day. Fifteen feet. You make them all day long. No problem. Just relax. You want me to shut up now? Okay. No problem. (Don't forget to bend your knees!)

6:40 We know we can eliminate an opponent's lead in the last few minutes, but can we hold one? Drama is for sucks.

6:41 C'mon, Daequan, you got these. He hits the first! And the second! Buckeyes lead 76-66 with 3:47 to play!

6:42 Hunt hits a big three on the baseline. Cook left him. You can't, can't, can't do that. 76-69 with 3:15 left to go.

6:42:51 Andre Allen fouls Conley and Allen's day is done. That was a stupid foul--provided Conley makes these free throws. Of course, now Kemp comes in for Allen and you know Kemp has at least four more three-pointers in him.

6:43 Ah, the fanatical cries of "OH-IO" in the Alamo Dome. Beautiful.

6:43:22 Conley makes both free throws. I knew he could do it. 78-69 Buckeyes with 3:15 to play. Hang on.

6:44 Kemp promptly hits a three. I told you! 78-72 with 2:30 left to play.

6:45 Ron Lewis drives and gets fouled by Chris Douglas-Roberts. See ya, Chris! Brilliant decision by Ron Lewis. It's a game of elimination right now.

6:46 C'mon Ron. Remember what I told Daequan. Nice! Lewis hits both. For future reference, though, those were a bit flat, Ron. Buckeyes lead 80-72 with 2:25 to play.

6:47 Conley's going to the free throw line now. We need these, Mike. Remember to bend your knees! First is good! Second is better! Buckeyes lead 82-72. Eight straight free throws made by the Buckeyes. Memphis calls a timeout with 2:09 left.

6:48 Eight straight! I think we are staring at possibly the greatest free throw coach in the business--me!! Okay, I'll shut up for now.

6:49 Cook gets fouled. He makes both. Ten straight! I am awesome. Buckeyes lead 84-74 with 1:47 left to play! Getting giddy yet??

6:50 Anderson misses a three. Lewis on the run out...gets fouled and nearly makes the basket. Instead he'll have to make two free throws. He actually looked like he held up on purpose on that play so he'd get fouled. He makes the first. Makes the second. This is easy! 86-74 Buckeyes with 1:30 to play.

6:51 Lighty to the line. Makes both. Fourteen straight. 88-74 with 1:05 to play.

6:52 Another Memphis miss. Oden gets the rebound. Lewis gets fouled. It's getting to be Titus Time!! Ron Lewis makes both free throws. Sixteen in a row. 90-74.

6:53 Dozier gets a basket. Oden's still jumping around on defense. Memphis calls a timeout with 48 seconds to play and down 90-76.

6:54 You only need like one point every three seconds in order to tie this game up. I'm sure that's happened before. Somewhere. Once.

6:55 Butler gets fouled. He makes both. 92-76.

6:56 Oden gets another rebound, and the clock will now be allowed to run out. It's over! And Greg Oden is laughing at Mike Conley and smiling!! He’s a real boy!

6:57 92 points. I hope that's enough to win with. I know people in the media were concerned about our ability to score. We seemed able enough today.

6:58 Seriously though, I am an awesome free throw coach.

6:59 We are Final Four bound for the first time since (1999) ever in my life!

7:10 You watch this team, and you find something new to be impressed with every game.

7:11 Here's hoping for two more games with which to be impressed with. Go Bucks!

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