Craft Family Squabble

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Last updated: 11/11/2013 9:07 PM
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OSU Basketball
Craft Family P.I.G. Squabble In Need of Clarification
By John Porentas

It isn't often a sports reporter gets involved in a family squabble Those topics are usually reserved for other space, but one has arisen within the OSU Department of Athletics that needs attention.

Cait Craft
Photo by Jim Davidson
Cait Craft

At the Morgan State men's basketball game a video was played on Value City Arena scoreboard matrix board in which OSU senior guard Aaron Craft crowed about defeating his sister, sophomore guard Cait Craft on the OSU women's basketball team, in their latest game of P.I.G. His victory, he claimed, made him the Craft family P.I.G. champion.

(skip the following part if you already know how to play P.I.G)

For those of you who are not familiar with P.I.G., it's basically what a lot of people call H.O.R.S.E. In that game one person shoots the shot of his or her choice on the basketball court, and if he or she makes it, his or her opponent must make the same shot. Score is kept by assigning a letter to the shooter who has failed. For example, a shooter who has missed one required shot is said to "have an H". If that shooter has missed two required shots, that shooter "has H.O." and so on. The person who reaches H.O.R.S.E. first is the loser, and conversely his or her opponent is the winner.

P.I.G. is the exact same game, only shorter. It' doesn't require five failures to produce a winner, just three. First one to P.I.G. is out.

(If you skipped the how-to part, resume reading below)

Following the OSU women's game against Florida Atlantic Aaron Craft's comments were brought up with Cait Craft. Her response made it very clear that she was miffed by what Aaron had said. Cait had just scored a game-high 29 points in the FAU game on 7-8 shooting from the field that included 2-2 from 3-point range. Aaron didn't score quite that many against Morgan State, yet there he was, in all his matrix board glory, claiming the Craft family title in P.I.G.

"Aaron claims that he beat me in the last game of P.I.G., which is correct, but he does not always beat me," said Cait.

That was actually pretty tame, but Cait had a bit more to say that was definitely more incendiary.

"He lies," said stated firmly.

"My win to loss ratio in shooting against Aaron is way higher than his, so Aaron is a liar in that aspect."

I don't know about your family, but in my family those are the kind of words that got you banished to the back seat of the car on that long car trip.

Cait wasn't through. She also called out Aaron for his method of competition.

Aaron Craft
Photo by Jim Davidson
Aaron Craft

"When we do play P.I.G. Aaron will take the weirdest shots that he knows you would never take in a game because he knows that if he takes his regular shots he's going to lose. You've got to do what you've got to do I suppose."

Fighting words without a doubt.

Strictly in the spirit of family reconciliation, the-Ozone has undertaken research to settle the question of which of the sibs is, at least when it comes to shooting a basketball, the Craft champion. This is a serious and grand undertaking, and we took painstaking steps in an effort to reach a fair conclusion. First, we decided that to claim dominance at anything within the Craft family is to claim superior Craftsmanship at that endeavor, so we spent considerable time finding just what that is and how it applies to this particular Craft dispute. We found two sources that seemed to apply.

Tom Stoppard, author of Artist Descending a Staircase, wrote the following.

"Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.”

By this definition, Cait wins the argument as the top P.I.G. Craftsman, while Aaron's creative ability to come up with weird shots earns him the title of latent hippy. If you want a shot made, call Cait. If you want some beads strung, call Aaron.

Then there is the issue of lying. It was a shot leveled at Aaron's head by Cait. We found the following from author Chris Jami.

“Just because something isn't a lie does not mean that it isn't deceptive. A liar knows that he is a liar, but one who speaks mere portions of truth in order to deceive is a craftsman of destruction.”

This is tricky. Cait clearly called out Aaron for the very thing described, a half-truth, but the definition given says that the ability to concoct an effective half-truth makes you a craftsman. We understand that there is a small matter of the lack of capitalization of that word craftsman, but it just seems too much of a coincidence that the definition uses that word, so we're letting Aaron off the hook. His use of half-truth to describe his relative P.I.G. domination does not lessen his claim to be the current champ.

So where does that leave us? Aaron's claim to be the current P.I.G. champ is valid, but Cait's claim to be the overall long-term champ is probably worth considering too.

In other words, the argument will continue.

Welcome to the Craft family.

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