Football The Rivalry

Prepare For The Most Delightful 9 Minutes Of Your Week

Michigan football

If you are an Ohio State fan, you just watched your team beat its bitter rival to end the regular season as Big Ten East champions.

But it’s better than that. You just watched them pull off an upset of those bitter rivals, crushing their conference and national championship dreams all in one neat four-hour package.

But it’s even better than that. Because they didn’t just beat those rivals to crush their dreams. They handed what was advertised as the best defense in the nation, the single worst beating Michigan had absorbed in 139 years of playing football.

Back in 1891, Cornell hung 58 points on the Wolverines. Until Saturday, no one had done better in a regulation football game.

The last time someone beat on Michigan’s defense that badly, airplanes didn’t exist. Cars were barely a thing. The Civil War had ended less than 30 years earlier.

And then, on Saturday, there you were. Watching Ohio State defiling Michigan in a way that literally no one else in history had ever done before. Plus, you have a car and an iPhone and aren’t likely to die from some Oregon Trail-era disease like Dystentary.

So how on earth could life possibly get any better for you, dear Buckeye fan?

Well, friends, what if I told you that someone had helpfully assembled a highlight video of Saturday’s avalanche of touchdowns, and done it with the soundtrack of Michigan’s radio announcers slowly losing the will to live?

Would that be something you would be interested in?

Yeah, I kind of thought so.

And don’t worry – after three minutes of searching Web MD, it does not appear that Schadenfreude Overdose is a real medical condition.

10 Responses

  1. This is for all the oldie fans out there like me: Can you imagine how their old announcer Bob Ufer would sound calling a Ohio State blowout of his favorite Meeeeshigan team like this one?

  2. I love it when Weber scored on the option and he said Weber goes in untouched. And the Buckeye have just put 40 on the nation’s #1 defense. He sounded so dejected!

  3. You know what’s even more delightful? Living 20 minutes from Ann Arbor and listening to the local sports show on my commute with all the angry UM fans stating the season was a failure, even at 10-2 (2 losses to their three chief rivals). This will be going on all week since the Lions did not play on Sunday, as it has been for the last 7 years!!! Can’t wait to hear Mike Valenti’s broadcast on The Ticket who stated that that anything but a B10 championship was a failure for UM early in the season. He predicted a double digit win for UM, but will gladly apologize and criticize UM(he is an avid MSU fan and alum and enjoys watching UM lose to us).

  4. All due respect, Tom, the single greatest exchange on the rival radio call went something like this, after the score bringing our tally to 62.

    Dan: “I hate to say this, but you know what’s in play now? 70.”

    Dan: “Jim, are you there?”
    Jim: “Yes, Dan, but I won’t tolerate such talk. I’m going to turn off my headsets and end this broadcast if you say that again…”

  5. Beautiful. But Milton looks like the kind of QB that’s going to cause us some trouble for the next 3 years.

  6. Was interesting to hear the tone of their voices changing as the beat down got worse…..very cool…well done Tom

  7. Spot on, and not only that, but MI was outclassed and their game plan os out dated as well. If JH thinks greater prep will help hes only on for another smack down. He needs to majorly upgrade his talent and get with the times.

  8. At the 8:40 mark m, I love how the announcer says ” I don’t want to call it coverage”… Classic.

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