Chances are you probably have that guy (or girl) in your office. You know the one. Grew up in Ohio, parents are from Ohio, and everyone they know and associate with loves and roots for Ohio State. At some point in their life, probably in the mid-90s, if I were to guess, they decided to be a contrarian and root for Michigan.
They go on and on about the great Jim Harbaugh, they hate Urban Meyer with a passion, and they bring up the “overall record in The Game” in each and every conversation. Be careful, this person will undoubtedly try to sneak Tom Brady or Charles Woodson into a conversation in which they have no business making an appearance.
“Hey, how about that weather?” you might ask.
“Yea, pretty awful, reminds me of a game that Tom Brady, you know, a Michigan alumnus, won back in ’99. Yep, he still managed to throw for over 250 yards, despite the conditions” they’ll say, as though he weren’t battling for his job that year with a guy that went on to throw one more NFL touchdown than me.
Well, Buckeye fans, you may bite your tongue and roll your eyes for the other 51 weeks a year, but not this week. When confronted with the aforementioned water cooler Michigan fan, please feel free to reference the list below. Your time is short (I’d assume… I’m not really sure how water cooler conversations go these days), so I’ve compiled ten quick, easy, and fun retorts for you to use.
Ten Fun Facts About Michigan Football
- In this century (millenium), there have been more United States presidents than Michigan football wins over Ohio State.
- The beloved and untouchable Tom Brady threw for 2,427 yards in his twelve-game 1998 season. Dwayne Haskins threw for more than that by halftime of week eight this year.
- Brady’s career numbers in Ann Arbor brought him to a total of 30 touchdown passes. The Buckeyes have had three QBs hit that mark in just one season.
- You’d have to go back 110 years to find Michigan’s series advantage in The Game. (Worth noting, since this is designed for water cooler conversations… the water cooler was actually invented 110 years ago.)
- Kids born since Thanksgiving in 2003 have seen Appalachian State beat Michigan as many times as they’ve seen the Wolverines beat their rivals.
- The last player to graduate with a perfect 4-0 record against the Buckeyes would be roughly 48 years old today. The last player to graduate with a perfect 4-0 record against the Wolverines would be roughly 22 years old… and graduated this year.
- “The Leaders and Best” have won ten or more games twelve times in the last 30 years. The Buckeyes have won ten or more games in twelve of their last thirteen seasons.
- Since the inventions of Twitter and Facebook, #ThatTeamUpNorth has just one victory over the Buckeyes. But, hey, two victories since Tom created Myspace, so there’s that!
- The last two times the Wolverines came to Columbus as favorites, they left with sixteen-point losses (1994, 2004).
- J.T. Barrett got the first down.
There you have it. Keep this cheat sheet of responses handy and use as needed.