Okay, but let me just state that I'm not proud of it. - buckeye in georgia [12:42:49 05/18/10]
The day started out innocently enough. We were out in the boat shooting at carp with homemade rocket bows where I fashioned Roman candles into a makeshift bow and arrow. The two-year old could never get the hang of it though, so he just stuck with spear fishing with a taser that I had taped to the end of a broom handle. (We ate duck that night, fwiw.) Anyway, I got a call on my cell that I was needed at home because a bear had broken into the garage through the opening that my wife had put in the door with the car the time when she was trying to get away from a fire I had set when I was shooting lighter fluid over the grill trying to show the kids how to shoot lighter fluid over the grill. LOL, she's a terrible driver. Anyway, we packed up the van and started to head out when I got a text from my prison pen pal (yes, our relationship had progressed electronically at that point). It was an emergency, so knowing that it wouldn't be safe to text and drive, I put the seven-year old in charge of the texting. But he's terrible at it and wasn't conveying the message I wanted sent at all. So I had the 9-year old switch me and he started driving while I went back and started texting. But the 9-year old is a terrible driver and has been since he was 5. So I had the 7-year old finish the drive while the 9-year old and I talked my penpal out of shivving a guard. When we got home, I would have gotten away with everything had the wife not been outside having already subdued the bear with a baseball bat and a homemade jackhammer/garden hose.
The height of confidence is standing up in a hammock.