So on New Year's Day I made a bookcase for my daughter, picked up a splinter in my right ring finger... - Solomon Dangerfield
...right up top, almost on the tip, palm side. It was a pretty big piece and the big end was left sticking out, so I pulled it out but the tip appeared to have broken and been left inside my finger. I tried to "squeeze" or "pinch" the tip of it out, no luck (don't do that, it apparently just drives the splinter further into the finger).
So I just left it alone after that. It kinda hurt but only when putting pressure on the area, and not that bad. The wound closed over a few days later, but it kept hurting a bit, but not bad.
Then in the past week or so that finger started to throb. I could see what looked like a "Puss-ball" forming underneath, along with what looked like a pocket of blood around it, behind where the wound had healed. It got real sensitive and started to shoot 8 or 9-scale pain down my finger even with even the slightest amount of stimulus. The puss-ball grew to about the size of a BB. I couldn't even type with that finger.
Last night I made the call, time for some self-surgery.
Gathered the headlamp, a magnifying glass, some rubbing alcohol, a needle, tweezers, roll of paper towels, Neosporin, bandaids, painkillers, some cooked Orzo I had prepared earlier, booze, etc. Set up a station on the bathroom sink, closed the door.
As the needle pierced the skin, the blood pocket burst first. Burst like a highly pressurized zit would burst. Splattered blood all over sink/mirror/wall/my face. But it felt great.
Most of the throbbing subsided immediately. But the puss-ball was still intact so I dug in further.
Finally the needle pierced the puss-ball and immediately the puss started to ooze out of the hole I had created. It was beige-ish in color. More relief, less throbbing.
All that was left was the end of that splinter, which I could tell was still in there, but I couldn't see it at all.
I poked around the bottom of the hole with the needle, waiting to make contact with something. Finally, I did.
It hurt like heck. Problem was I think hit the top of the splinter square with the needle, and drove it further into my finger. Sharp pain.
So I thought the best option was to scoop it out with the needle. I poked the needle in beside the area, way down, tried to pry. Blood was everywhere. Clear puss oozing by now. I'm in some real pain. It was throbbing again. Wive is outside the door asking if I'm okay.
"Ouch!. Feels like there is something moving in there..." I told her.
Finally, I felt the needle make contact and I pried that bad boy out. It was a quarter-inch long, very thin, but stout.
Such relief. I almost cried in relief. I just stared at that splinter, admiring its prowess, for a while. That little piece of pine had been lodged inside of my finger for 3 weeks.
Wife is still outside the door, concerned.
About that time I yelled "Oh my God, What the **** is that?"
I spread a few pieces of the Orzo on my hand, opened the door (there is still bloodsplatter everywhere, I saved some puss on my finger too) had her look down into the sink, uncovered my hand and yelled "THERE ARE MAGGOTS CRAWLING OUT OF MY FINGER!"
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. She totally freaked. Screamed, ran away, dry-heaved, etc. hahahahahaha.
She is pretty mad at me, even today.
But my finger feels SO MUCH better today.
I put a few pieces of that Orzo in her lunch box/cooler this morning. She won't answer my texts.
The bookcase is pretty sweet btw.
The height of confidence is standing up in a hammock.