The ladder story... - buckeye in georgia
8 or 9 years ago this month my wife asked me to help her hang some Christmas lights on the house. I don’t usually participate in this activity because it’s a pain in the ass, but I figured I’d help her out by doing the lights that were to run along the gutters/roof line. I thought I had finished the job, but no. She insisted that I string lights around the giant picture window above the front door. I was doing OK until I had to string them around the top of the window. My ladder was a few feet too short for me to reach that high. So, the genius that I am, I decided that I could get the necessary few feet by putting the ladder up on a table that sat in the foyer. I brought the table out and put the ladder on it. I had my wife hold the bottom of the ladder so it wouldn’t slip off while I was 40 feet up. I climbed the ladder and started fastening the lights with a staple gun. It wasn’t long before the legs on the table broke out from under me. The ladder kicked out against my wife’s thighs and slid all the way down her legs doing some pretty good damage to her shins. I hung on tightly as I rode the ladder down the wall breaking a window, a porch light off the side of the house, a couple of bushes, my forehead, my hands and my shoulder. My wife just laid there on the grass in excruciating pain. I asked her if she wanted me to help her up and into the house and she pretty much just called me every name in the book so I left her there and went in the house. She stayed out there for a long time before she got up and came in. She was pretty pissed at me for awhile.
The height of confidence is standing up in a hammock.