This week, The Ohio State University put in an application to trademark the word “THE” for commercial purposes.
The THE is, of course, a reference to the THE in The Ohio State University.
The gist is that they want to stop others from selling clothing with THE emblazoned on it so that they can be the only entity to sell official THE wear.
Just as you can’t go and sell a shirt with “Ohio State Buckeyes” on it without OSU approving it and receiving compensation, they are attempting to put the same kind of restrictions on THE.
And they should!
But this isn’t just about an article of clothing, so to speak.
This is about reverence and respect for a word.
But not just any word.
This is about the.
And this isn’t just a the, it’s the THE!
And if you are a Buckeye fan, it’s your THE. It is not their THE.
Don’t let them take THE from you. Not when you are so close to having it on a shirt or a hat or perhaps a FatHead or a garage door decal or maybe a basketball backboard or perhaps a beer coozy or even a casket.
That’s what those who oppose this trademark request want. They want the. They want the bad. And they don’t want you to have it. (And by “it,” I mean “the.”)
Do the math. Literally, do THE math.
Nobody has done more for THE than Ohio State, so why shouldn’t they benefit?
Hell, most people don’t even use the word the anymore.
Instead, they use shorthand, colloquialisms, or accepted mispellings like th’, tha, duh, da, or teh.
The may as well be an endangered species. I’m surprised the hasn’t been sent to a figurative literal wildlife refuge and hunted for sport by the super rich.
Ohio State is simply trying to keep the alive and give it a good home.
You weren’t doing anything with it anyway!
(And again when I say “it,” I’m referring to “the.” It is another story all together, and for many reasons I believe Illinois Tech is way out of line with what they are trying to accomplish with their own trademark applications.)
Think about it, before Ohio State football players came along and started saying “THE Ohio State University” during introductions on Sunday and Monday Night Football, the was seen as a lowly word and more of a necessary evil than an integral part of our everyday language.
Based on many television shows that I have watched featuring characters speaking broken English, I don’t even think they use the in Europe.
Because of Ohio State, that will never happen here in America.
Ohio State gave THE value. OSU gave THE worth.
So why shouldn’t they make a few bucks off of a t-shirt or a hat or an insulated travel mug or a cellphone case or novelty underwear?
As you would expect, the University received quite a bit of backlash on social media when this news broke.
Complaints flew in from all sides.
Ohio State was shouted down like they were trying to amend the Constitution.
The University is simply trying to protect property that they value and nobody else does.
You know how cities sometimes hand over buildings to the squatters living in them and they end up improving the building and making it livable again?
This is like that, except Ohio State is simply requesting permission to squat ahead of time. Not only is their purpose righteous and fair, they are thoughtful in how they are going about it.
All they are asking for is commercial control of a word that everyone uses because they have to, not because they want to.
At least Ohio State is finally giving people a reason to want to.
So you can say what you want about Ohio State overstepping its bounds here, but always remember that it is better to be THE laughingstock than just a laughingstock.