Game Control, 6 years old, an enigmatic college football metric used to determine perceived superiority, passed away on Tuesday, November 5 after five valiant years of proving opinions correct without actually proving anything.
Game Control was born October 28, 2014 with the release of the first-ever College Football Playoff rankings and came into prominence shortly thereafter as college football experts, analysts, media, and committee members cited it when attempting to justify how people felt about teams from the SEC.
Game Control was a devoted unit of measure, a tremendous poker player, and pretty much all things to all people.
The Alabama football program and Game Control were as intrinsically tied together as dogs and fleas. It was Game Control touting the Tide and leading the charge over the years when wins and strengths of schedules weren’t enough.
That’s when Game Control was at its best. Called “The Winston Wolfe of college football debate” by those who needed him most, Game Control could fix any SEC argument at any time and will be terribly missed by all.
This was a sudden and terrible loss. In fact, nobody knew anything was wrong until Game Control failed to appear during ESPN’s initial College Football Playoff rankings this week. There was also no focus on Game Control during the broadcast, which was incredibly strange given its prominence in the past.
Game Control was scheduled to be on the show to let people know that not only was Ohio State ranked No. 1 by the committee, but also by Game Control itself. After years of touting the SEC, Game Control was about to prop up the Buckeyes.
When Game Control never showed, people were immediately concerned and went looking for it. Sadly, they found what they were looking for, as Game Control was found at home, dead on the kitchen floor with a knife still in its back.
A note written on ESPN letterhead next to the body read, “It’s not you, it’s us.”
There will be no services for Game Control because there is a pretty good chance it will rise from the dead to come to the defense of this weekend’s winner between LSU and Alabama.
Strength of Schedule, who was also supposed to be on the show to tout Ohio State’s top ranking among the top nine teams, is also missing. If anybody out there has any information on Strength of Schedule’s whereabouts, please alert your local authorities.
Game Control is survived by its drunken cousin, Eye Test.