It’s amazing, isn’t it? Every November rolls around and somehow Michigan fans’ memories get longer and longer.
“Yeah, but we still own the series record!!” they angrily fat-finger into their Blackberry devices and desktop PCs from mom’s basement. Although that comment holds true, it’s become comical as a defense of their standing in the rivalry.
In my childhood, their series lead seemed almost insurmountable. Nowadays, it’s within the realm of possibility that Ryan Day is still coaching the Buckeyes when OSU overtakes them.
So how does one respond when confronted with a Michigan fan’s display of overwhelming pride in pre-World War I football victories?
Well, you may bite your tongue and roll your eyes for the other 51 weeks a year, but not this week. When confronted with the aforementioned water cooler Michigan fan, please feel free to reference the list below. Your time is short (I’d assume… I’m not really sure how water cooler conversations go these days), so I’ve updated last year’s ten quick retorts for you to use.
Ten Fun Facts About Michigan Football
- In this century (millenium), this country has seen more presidents (4) than Michigan has seen wins over Ohio State (2). To go a step further, since POTUS is whooping TTUN, did you know that blue moons (you know, those things that we use as the gold standard for telling a person that something never happens) have been 5 times more likely to occur in this century than Michigan victories over OSU. <Bosa shrug>
- Tom Brady’s career numbers in Ann Arbor brought him to a total of 30 touchdown passes. Justin Fields surpassed that number in Week 10 of his first year in Columbus.
- You’d have to go back 112 years to find Michigan’s series advantage in The Game. (Worth noting, since this is designed for water cooler conversations… the water cooler was only invented 110 years ago – awkward)
- Since joining the conference in 2014, Rutgers has beaten Michigan more than UM has beaten Ohio State.
- Michigan sits alongside Rutgers, Maryland, Illinois, Indiana, Purdue, and Minnesota as teams that have never made it to a Big Ten Championship Game. (Note: Minnesota leaves this list with a win against Wisconsin on Saturday)
- “The Leaders and Best” have won 10 or more games 14 times in the last 38 years. The Buckeyes have won 10 or more games in 14 of their last 15 seasons.
- Since the inventions of Twitter/Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat, #ThatTeamUpNorth has just one victory over the Buckeyes. But, hey, two victories since Tom Anderson created Myspace, so there’s that!
- Jim Harbaugh is 4-7 at Michigan in rivalry games (Michigan State, Notre Dame, Ohio State) since 2015. Ohio State has just one major rival and still has 5 victories over them since 2015.
- My daughter is in 1st grade. She can read, do math, plays sports, rides a bike, and turns 7 next week… She’s never seen Michigan beat Ohio State in football. <– Feel free to insert your own child into this category, using mine as your example might be weird.
- J.T. Barrett got the first down.
There you have it. Keep this cheat sheet of responses handy and use as needed.
If the Michigan fan is persistent in their trash talking, just keep in mind that they tend to be get very quiet at around 3pm.