This week there are three matchups between ranked teams, which means it’s not a great weekend of games.
However, as I always remind you here, the weeks that look weak end up having some crazy finishes.
For instance, Alabama is probably going to lose to Arkansas this weekend. I hate to break it to you and I know you’re gonna hate me for saying it, but I can’t suffocate the truth. Bama is going down.
You know who else is going to lose? Illinois. Sorry. I don’t take any joy in saying this, but honesty compels me to blurt these things out.
Other teams will probably lose as well.
Will you have rooted for the proper teams? Without the Tip Sheet, how will you ever know?
Saturday October 6
Teams: #1 Alabama (5-0, 2-0) at Arkansas (1-4, 0-2)
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (ESPN)
Interest: 2
Cheer For: Arkansas
Arkansas is 1-4 this season and their lone win is against Eastern Illinois. They have lost to Colorado State, Nevada, Auburn, and Texas A&M. So, yeah, when I say that Alabama is going down in this one, I mean there is going to be a food poisoning outbreak at breakfast for the Tide. Runny eggs will be the culprit. Salmonella is undefeated. It could still take six or seven overtimes, though.
Alabama 59 – Arkansas 7
Teams: #19 Texas (4-1, 2-0) vs. #7 Oklahoma (5-0, 2-0) (Dallas, TX)
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (FOX)
Interest: 4.5
Cheer For: Texas
The Red River Shootout has a long history which is available on the internet if you are so reclined. Oklahoma is only favored by seven points in this one, which seems low. Texas has won four in a row after they opened the season with a loss at Maryland. Last week they eked by with a 19-14 win on the road at Kansas State. This week they have to contend with Oklahoma quarterback Kyler Murray, who threw for 432 yards and six touchdowns last week against Baylor. The Longhorns are better than Baylor, but they’ll have to be at their best defensively to contain Murray’s arm and legs. Texas has been the underdog in this game every time this decade, and yet over the last five meetings, Oklahoma has failed to cover — and lost twice straight up. Can Tom Herman make it six years in a row — and also maybe add a third win in six attempts, while getting his first win in this rivalry?
Oklahoma 37 – Texas 31
Teams: Maryland (3-1, 1-0) at #15 Michigan (4-1, 2-0)
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (ABC)
Interest: 3
Cheer For: Michigan
Michigan is a 7.5-point favorite over a Maryland team that has defeated Texas and Minnesota. I don’t know if that really means anything, though. The Terps are one-dimensional on offense, throwing for just 141 yards per game and rushing for nearly double that number. Big-play tailbacks Ty Johnson and Anthony McFarland can make life difficult on defenses, but without the threat of the passing game, don’t expect more than one or two big plays from the running backs. If Maryland is going to compete in this one, they’ll have to get something from quarterback Kasim Hill.
Michigan 34 – Maryland 10
Teams: Northwestern (1-3, 1-1) at #20 Michigan State (3-1, 1-0)
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (FS1)
Interest: 2.5
Cheer For: Michigan State
If this was a trivia bowl between Northwestern and Michigan State, the Spartans would leap over their collective desk about halfway through the competition and beat the Wildcats with broom handles and brass knuckles. The halftime score would be Northwestern 48 – Michigan State 0. With no Northwestern competitors able to continue, the moderator would want to end the match and declare Northwestern the winner, but the Spartans would intimidate him into continuing the questions. With the Wildcats unable to participate, that would leave only Michigan State to buzz in. The Spartans would then ultimately lose 48 – 0. With this being football, however, any second-half lead held by Northwestern will be wasted by Pat Fitzgerald.
Michigan State 27 – Northwestern 16
Teams: Illinois (2-2, 0-1) at Rutgers (1-4, 0-2)
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (BTN)
Interest: 1
Cheer For: Rutgers
You’re cheering for Rutgers because Ohio State doesn’t play Illinois. This is the first time the Illini are road favorites since the last time they were at Rutgers. They won that game 24-7 as a 4-point favorite. This year, they’re -5, and that may even be low. Rutgers has lost four in a row, and a loss here will make it very difficult for them to get to a bowl game. Also making it difficult will be the 10 losses and lack of talent. If the Scarlet Knights are going to make a stand, this would be a good place to do it.
Illinois 24 – Rutgers 17
Teams: Boston College (4-1, 1-0) at #23 NC State (4-0, 1-0)
Time (TV): 12:30 pm (ACCN)
Interest: 2.5
Cheer For: Boston College
North Carolina State hasn’t played anybody this year, and last week’s 35-21 win over Virginia doesn’t exactly meet much of a standard. Boston College is the best team they’ve played this season. The Eagles rebounded from their 30-13 loss to Purdue with a 45-35 win over Temple last week. BC’s star running back A.J. Dillon is questionable for this game, which makes them a tough pick even if he does play. NC State is a 6-point favorite. Don’t bet on this game. In fact, don’t bet on any game. Use that money for extreme couponing. You know what isn’t a gamble? Seven hundred diapers and 19 cases of canned chili.
NC State 27 – Boston College 10
Teams: #4 Clemson (5-0, 2-0) at Wake Forest (3-2, 0-1)
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (ESPN)
Interest: 4
Cheer For: Wake Forest
Clemson quarterback Trevor Lawrence got knocked out of the game last week, but has been cleared to play this week, which is bad news for Wake Forest. When they’re not dealing with Clemson’s defensive line, the Demon Deacons can move the ball pretty well. The Tigers are favored by 20 points, but have failed to cover against Wake in their last four attempts. Clemson pulled one out last week that they probably shouldn’t have — which is the second time this season that has happened. In a week with very few marquee matchups, keep an eye on a game like this to provide the excitement this week.
Clemson 34 – Wake Forest 24
Teams: #5 LSU (5-0, 2-0) at #22 Florida (4-1, 2-1)
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (CBS)
Interest: 4.5
Cheer For: LSU
You should be cheering for LSU in order to keep Alabama out of the playoffs. Tigers quarterback Joe Burrow is 2-0 against ranked opponents this year, and this week he tries to become the only starting quarterback in the nation to go 3-0 against ranked opponents. (I think that’s a real stat, anyway.) LSU is actually favored by two points, making this the first time UF has been a home dog in SEC play since they faced Hugh Freeze’s third-ranked Crooked Rebels in 2015. The Gators won that game by four touchdowns. Last week against Ole Miss, Burrow threw for 292 yards and three touchdowns and rushed for 96 yards and scored a fourth touchdown. This week, however, he and the Tigers will be facing a team with a defense. It’s not a great defense, mind you, but it’s better than whatever wet toast Ole Miss threw out there last week. I’d like to see LSU move to 5-0, and they have the competitor at quarterback to get it done, but eventually the lack of talent around Burrow will cost the Tigers.
Florida 27 – LSU 24
Teams: Iowa (3-1, 0-1) at Minnesota (3-1, 0-1)
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (BTN)
Interest: 2.5
Cheer For: Minnesota
I was gonna come up with some fake backstory for the Floyd of Rosedale, which is the trophy that these two teams play for, but the real story is pretty darn amazing by itself. This is a huge game for Minnesota, which lost to Maryland 42-13 two weeks ago and had an off week to prepare for this game. Because the Gophers play the Buckeyes, a win here for them helps OSU. However, you might want to see Iowa in the Big Ten Championship Game, so feel free to root for them, assuming you’d be interested in seeing what Dwayne Haskins can do to Iowa’s defense for a change.
Iowa 23 – Minnesota 17
Teams: Indiana (4-1, 1-1) at #3 Ohio State (5-0, 2-0)
Time (TV): 4:00 pm (FOX)
Interest: 5
Cheer For: Ohio State
The Buckeyes are better than the Hoosiers on every side of the ball, but that hasn’t kept these two teams from staying close for three or four quarters over the last few years. Urban Meyer loves the Indiana defensive scheme and effort, and the fact that quarterback Peyton Ramsey can run the ball decently well pleases his heart as well. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Meyer switch sides at the half. The pull of a quarterback who can run will be too much for him to ignore. Dwayne Haskins will wonder when he’ll ever be loved. Meanwhile, Tate Martell will be running an obstacle course just trying to catch Meyer’s eye.
Ohio State 45 – Indiana 17
Teams: Arizona State (3-2, 1-1) at #21 Colorado (4-0, 1-0)
Time (TV): 4:00 pm (P12N)
Interest: 2
Cheer For: Arizona State
Despite being undefeated, Colorado is only favored by 2.5 points in this one. The Buffaloes have produced a better offense and defense, but Vegas always thinks they know best. Last week, Arizona State running back Eno Benjamin rushed for 312 yards on 30 carries in a 52-24 win over Oregon State. Even though this game isn’t at night, I’m still expecting a bit of a shootout. The Sun Devils will try to control the ball and the clock, which will limit Colorado and put pressure on them to not throw any possessions away. If they can control receiver Laviska Shenault, then I like their chances. But nobody has controlled him yet, so…
Colorado 34 – Arizona State 30
Teams: #13 Kentucky (5-0, 3-0) at Texas A&M (3-2, 1-1)
Time (TV): 7:00 pm (ESPN)
Interest: 2.5
Cheer For: Texas A&M
Kentucky is showing the Big Ten what happens when you recruit Ohio well. The last time the Wildcats were ranked this late in the season, gasoline was still seen as witchcraft by the state of Kentucky General Assembly. Even after seeing a DVD explaining how gasoline works, the assembly still couldn’t be convinced. It was only after Kid Rock sang a song explaining internal combustion and gasoline that they backed off of their stance and declared gasoline “Mostly non-potable liquid; still untrustworthy; stings the eyes.” The Aggies are favored by six points in this one, which the Wildcats are well aware of and most likely aren’t happy about. Kentucky is already 2-0 against ranked opponents, but those two opponents are just Florida and Mississippi State. I don’t know if Texas A&M would be a better trophy, but I do know that three trophies are better than two. The Aggies’ losses have come to Clemson and Alabama, but the 7-point win over Arkansas last week is concerning.
Texas A&M 35 – Kentucky 28
Teams: #8 Auburn (4-1, 1-1) at Mississippi State (3-2, 0-2)
Time (TV): 7:30 pm (ESPN2)
Interest: 3.5
Cheer For: Auburn
You want Auburn to remain within a game of Alabama, I think. But if you’re putting all of your eggs in the LSU basket, then you can go ahead and root for the cowbells and Mississippi State. My assumption is that there is no more annoying sound in the world than when you first walk into a bell collectors’ convention. Just the wall of ringing punching you in the head without mercy. That’s also how I imagine a game in Starkville. Except clanging is more blunt. Ringing is like daggers and ice picks. Clanging is a sledgehammer or battle ax. I don’t know what a gong would equate to, but I do know that it is time for Ohio State to go to a third-down gong since they’ve gotten rid of Hell’s Bells for some reason.
Mississippi State 30 – Auburn 27
Teams: #10 Washington (4-1, 2-0) at UCLA (0-4, 0-1)
Time (TV): 7:30 pm (FOX)
Interest: 1.5
Cheer For: UCLA
I guess if Chip Kelly is going to make an impact — or even win a game, now would be a good time to start. I’m not one of those people who are already writing him or Scott Frost off. That’s ridiculous. The coaches before them were fired for very good reasons, and so it’s going to take some time to get things to a menacing threat level. Washington is a 21-point favorite. UCLA has lost their last three games by 22, 24, and 28 points, so at least the numbers are coming down. Bruins’ freshman quarterback Dorian Thompson-Robinson has completed less than 50% of his passes in each of the last two weeks, and his running ability is not being used well either. Next year, maybe.
Washington 44 – UCLA 20
Teams: Nebraska (0-4, 0-2) at #16 Wisconsin (3-1, 1-0)
Time (TV): 7:30 pm (BTN)
Interest: 2
Cheer For: Wisconsin
The first time I ever drove a car or truck is the same way everybody in Ohio drives for the first time — a farmer points at a truck and says, “Go bring that truck over here.” I was probably 10 or so. All of my knowledge of driving at that time came from Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard, so I gunned it. Then I slammed on the brakes. Then the farmer took me out of the truck and put me on shucking corn and I’ve been part of the corn industry ever since. People ask me all the time, “Tony, how do I break into corn?” And I tell them, “First, you gotta know somebody. Second, you gotta really love corn.” It’s hard work and it’s not as glamorous as it looks, but it’s pretty fun.
Wisconsin 38 – Nebraska 17
Teams: #6 Notre Dame (5-0) at #24 Virginia Tech (3-1)
Time (TV): 8:00 pm (ABC)
Interest: 4
Cheer For: Virginia Tech
It appears that this will be the last ranked team on Notre Dame’s schedule, so if you’re going to pick a week to really root against them, this would be it. On the other hand — and hear me out — don’t you want to populate the College Football Playoffs with teams that the Buckeyes can beat? And might not an undefeated Notre Dame keep a second SEC team out of the playoffs? These are all questions that you should ask yourself and your family. Talk about it. Consult your pastor or priest to see what they tell you. Make an appointment with your alderman or mayor or town drunk. Get feedback. Make a Pros and Cons list. Use a pen instead of a pencil. Make this decision permanent. You don’t want to show any weakness in front of your children. They will recognize it and it will make them stronger. You must never let them become strong enough to defeat you. Then, when the opportunity arises, you crush them! Each quarterback in this game is relatively new to starting, but both have performed admirably. Notre Dame’s defense is playing well, and aside from a 49-35 loss to Old Dominion, so has Virginia Tech’s. Let’s all hope this is a good game, but don’t count on it.
Notre Dame 30 – Virginia Tech 20
Great tip sheet Tony – laughed my tail off.
I swore off the Red River Shootout when spineless turds sissified the tenor of the game. What the HELL is a damned Red River Rivalry? Is that where North Korea and China meet to play frigging pingpong? Or are we back in the days of education before the government stole control over it (pre Peanut Brai……..Farmer) where the 3 R’s stood for something actually meaningful based on a space filler in the “Lady’s Magazine” in 1818 Red River Rivalry just sounds stoooooo…..pid.
Last I checked there were fewer murders or even deaths in the history of the Red River Shootout than occur on any given weekend in LA or Chicago or NYC…….etc etc etc, where weak kneed political correctness rules.
I won’t watch even a second of it, or listen to a second of it. Even though I like OU better I’ll be rooting for TAxAss and hope they do enough to make the playoffs so Urban can stomp a mudhole in Benedict Hermans ass.
I have NO idea what any of that meant! Thanks for keeping it to 3 paragraphs!
I don’t think you out did the Temple vs Maryland tip this year, but the Wisconsin at Nebraska is close. Awesome!
🙂
Tony, you have redeemed yourself and proven you are not getting millions under the table from ESPN by referring to the Oklahoma-Texas game as the Red River Shootout. Bravo! It’s no small deal to generations that grew up with westerns and recall a time when men wore the pants and didn’t shoot each other up in high school. It went to Rivalry and then Showdown and I think it’s being updated to the “Red River Unfriending On Facebook” next year. That Oklahoma-Texas game was a fairly big deal at one time. My heart tells me to root for the Longhorns because they are just cattle going up against Sooners with Winchesters. The Cattle will not have a chance and will get corralled by the Sooners who already ran the Indians out of Oklahoma. That’s what’s going to happen in tomorrow’s game. Oklahoma covers this time. You can double down on your bets.