The Tip Sheet — Rise of the Juvie Cousins

Welcome to week two of the college football season.

There are two games this week where both teams are ranked, which is cool, I guess.

There are also some under-the-radar games that are actually kind of important.

I’m not saying you need stop what you are doing and make sure you don’t miss any of the action this week, but I am saying that if you miss these games, you’ll never forgive yourself.

Sure, maybe it won’t bother you today, and maybe not tomorrow. But one day, dying in your bed many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here as young men and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they will never take our opportunity to watch Illinois at UConn at 3:30 pm on the CBS Sports Network!

And standing next to your death bed, the doctor will ask, “What was that about Illinois and UConn?”

“Nothing,” your family replies, “let’s go ahead and get the coroner up here.”

Saturday September 7

Teams: Ohio (1-0) at Pittsburgh (0-1)
Time (TV): 11:00 am (ACCN)
Interest: 2
Cheer For: Ohio

You are cheering for Ohio because you have pride in your state and more than that, you hate Pennsylvanians. You sometimes have to explain the former, but everybody understands the latter. The Bobcats are 8-6 in their last 14 road openers, and that includes wins at Penn State in 2012 and Kansas in 2016. Pittsburgh is only favored by 4 points, which isn’t a great sign for the Panthers, who lost to UVA last week.

Ohio 24 – Pitt 17

Teams: Cincinnati (1-0) at #5 Ohio State (1-0)
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (ABC)
Interest: 5
Cheer For: Ohio State

This should be fun. It’s a semi-rivalry of semi-in-state schools. It’s not a little brother type of thing. More of a younger cousin who who went to juvie for stealing car batteries. How will Justin Fields play against a much more capable defense than the one he saw last week? Will this be too much too soon for him? Can the Buckeyes get the running game going. Is the defense legit? I believe Ohio State is going to stop UC’s running game and they’ll unleash their secondary on a Cincinnati passing game that is as dynamic as a Tressel disciple can allow it to be.

Ohio State 31 – Cincinnati 13

Teams: Army (1-0) at #7 Michigan (1-0)
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (ABC)
Interest: 4.5
Cheer For: Michigan

Before the season, this was seen as a game that Michigan was going to have to be careful with. While that still holds truth, Army did not look all that impressive last week in their 14-7 win over Rice. They only rushed 231 yards against the Owls. Michigan’s defense has questions up the middle, which is bad news for this week. Last week they started a former fullback at defensive tackle and a former walk-on safety at inside linebacker. If they can’t get Army off the field, the Michigan offense is going to have to be pretty flawless to score enough to win comfortably. They have the offense to do that, provided Shea Patterson doesn’t give the ball up too many times. Watch Wolverines’ freshman running back Zach Charbonnet. He may be the key to their entire season.

Michigan 37 – Army 14

Teams: Rutgers (1-0, 0-0) at #20 Iowa (1-0, 0-0)
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (FS1)
Interest: 2
Cheer For: Iowa

You’re rooting for Iowa because as a kid you had a decision to make — a life of corn or a life of jellyfish. Why did your parents force this decision upon you? Because they were sadistic. Anyway, for some reason you chose jellyfish and spent your middle school years being made fun of for your fascination with jellyfish and now you’re trying to recapture some kind of unattainable teenage popularity by going overboard with your interest in corn and the corn arts.

Iowa 26 – Rutgers 13

Teams: #22 Syracuse (1-0) at Maryland (1-0)
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (ESPN)
Interest: 4
Cheer For: Maryland

This is actually a sneaky big game. Syracuse might be the second-best team in the ACC and they are 2-point underdogs to the fifth or sixth-best team in the Big Ten East. Of course, for this to mean anything, the Terps actually need to win and we don’t know if Mike Locksley is capable of doing that. A win here would be a big deal for the Big Ten and so you should be paying attention to it at least a little bit while you are tearing your hair out watching the Buckeyes.

Syracuse 31 – Maryland 27

Teams: West Virginia (1-0) at Missouri (0-1)
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (ESPN2)
Interest: 2
Cheer For: West Virginia

This is like a bowl trip for West Virginia. Any time they get to go to town, it’s a pretty big deal. Missouri needs a win after last week’s debacle against Wyoming. West Virginia needs a win because eventually conference play is going to start and they won’t be able to beat up on opponents from lesser conferences like this every week. Clemson transfer quarterback Kelly Bryant threw for over 400 yards last week for Mizzou. He’ll probably make it two weeks in a row against a West Virginia defense that thinks “three and out” is still just theoretical at this point.

Missouri 37 – West Virginia 24

Teams: Vanderbilt (0-1) at Purdue (0-1)
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (BTN)
Interest: 3.5
Cheer For: Purdue

This is a must-win game for Purdue and the Big Ten. Purdue choked that game away against Nevada last week, and this week is an opportunity to redeem themselves. If they lose this game, they’re looking at another 6-6 season at best. They need some momentum, but they also need to show that they can actually win a game. If both Maryland and Purdue lose this week, it will only confirm what so many people want to believe about the Big Ten. My advice to Jeff Brohm is that Rondale Moore touches it a minimum of 45 times. Think about it, Purdue is going to have around 80 snaps. I’m not saying he should have half the snaps, but he should get close. If they give him the ball 45 times, I guarantee you that Purdue will win. In fact, they’ll never lose again.

Purdue 33 – Vanderbilt 31

Teams: #12 Texas A&M (1-0) at #1 Clemson (1-0)
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (ABC)
Interest: 5
Cheer For: Clemson

You can root for whomever you want here, but I’m going with Clemson for two main reasons. For one, a loss to Texas A&M isn’t going to eliminate Clemson from the playoffs because they’re going to run through the ACC like a streaker at a nude beach. In other words, nobody is gonna try to stop them. Texas A&M winning this, however, will give more power to the SEC and further embolden the people who think the SEC should be able to get two teams into the playoffs. As much as we all enjoy seeing upsets, it’s probably best for Clemson to win this going away, and then for A&M to beat Alabama later on this season.

Clemson 38 – Texas A&M 24

Teams: Central Michigan (1-0) at #19 Wisconsin (1-0)
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (BTN)
Interest: 1.5
Cheer For: Wisconsin

The Badgers are favored by 35 points, and any time a team that bleeds molasses is favored by five touchdowns, you know they’re playing a bad team. Wisconsin was impressive last week against South Florida, so it will be interesting to see if they stay mashed down on the gas in this one. After this game, they’ll have next week off before hosting Michigan. Giddy up.

Wisconsin 42 – Central Michigan 7

Teams: #24 Nebraska (1-0) at Colorado (1-0)
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (FOX)
Interest: 4
Cheer For: Nebraska

Nebraska did not look very good last week and now they head to Colorado to face a talented Buffs’ offense on the road. The Huskers have been favored by four points since the line opened, which seems strange that more money isn’t being put on Colorado. It makes me feel like the CU people know something. This line feels a lot like a show of good faith for Scott Frost, as opposed to being based on anything Nebraska has done. Quarterback Adrian Martinez had a rough outing against South Alabama, throwing for 178 yards and an interception while also rushing for just six yards on 13 attempts. He’ll need to double his total yardage in this one if the Huskers are going to pull this one off. This is a big game early on for Nebraska. This could really be a momentum bringer.

Colorado 30 – Nebraska 26

Teams: Illinois (1-0) at UConn (1-0)
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (CBSSN)
Interest: 1.5
Cheer For: Illinois

Imagine being a 20-point underdog at home against Illinois. Now imagine that it’s not you, and it’s actually a college football team. Sure, you could see Illinois coming to your house to play football and being favored by 20 points against just you. You would expect that. You’re just one person. But UConn? UConn is at least 25 people.

Illinois 38 – UConn 24

Teams: Eastern Illinois (0-1) at Indiana (1-0)
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (BTN)
Interest: 1
Cheer For: Indiana

You’re cheering for Indiana because when you were in high school you applied to Eastern Illinois and they sent back a letter of rejection so harsh that to this day you have never forgiven them. That letter drove you to want more from your life. You framed it and it was the last thing you saw each day when you left the house. To say you were motivated was an understatement. You wanted to show Eastern Illinois what they missed out on. You wanted them to show how successful you would become. While that never happened, you still carry an ugly scar from that letter and will never forget those hateful words typed on that page: “LOL. Maybe try Michigan State, dummy.”

Indiana 44 – Eastern Illinois 13

Teams: New Mexico State (0-1) at #2 Alabama (1-0)
Time (TV): 4:00 pm (SECN)
Interest: 1
Cheer For: New Mexico State

Alabama is favored by 55.5 points. Only Popeye’s Chicken has seen a bigger line. New Mexico State lost at Washington State 58-7 last week. The Tide’s third string would beat the Aggies by 31 points. And this isn’t even Alabama’s worst non-conference game. But it’s totally fine because the SEC is so difficult. Oh, by the way, Alabama has lost just two regular season conference games over the last four seasons, and both losses came to a team that was recently put on probation for paying players, so how difficult is it actually? But whatever, it’s totally fine. Enjoy the big game, Bama fans.

Alabama 63 – New Mexico State 0

Teams: BYU (0-1) at Tennessee (0-1)
Time (TV): 7:00 pm (ESPN)
Interest:1.5
Cheer For: BYU

The good news is that we all get to watch this game because ESPN is airing it. Tennessee sent ESPN a cease and desist, but American won. An injunction was then filed by the governor, but a state judge who went to school in New York City threw it out. (I don’t know if an injunction can be filed by a governor. I’m just throwing out my best legal jargon, even though I know I probably just said the law equivalent of “The quarterback threw the third baseman a sports basket.”) Because they have no shame, Tennessee doesn’t embarrass easily, as we all know. But that loss to Georgia State last week had to come close. The Vols are favored by four points this week because money is flammable. BYU was pretty lifeless last week against Utah, so what’s the worst that could possibly happen by picking Tennessee?

Tennessee 24 – BYU 20

Teams: #6 LSU (1-0) at #10 Texas (1-0)
Time (TV): 7:30 pm (ABC)
Interest: 5
Cheer For: Texas

You are rooting for Texas because any time you can have an SEC team lose a non-conference game, that’s gonna help a little. LSU opened as 2.5-point favorites, but that has been bet up to 6.5 points now. Tom Herman is 8-2 against the spread as an underdog at Texas, and has won five of six outright as an underdog. Two of those wins have come against the SEC, but since both of those games happened in bowls, it is understood that the games just didn’t matter to the SEC teams. I’m not sure how Texas is going to protect Sam Ehlinger, but I also know there are few tougher quarterbacks in the nation than him. In fact, this game might feature the two toughest quarterbacks in the nation. Both will probably take some shots, which should be fun to watch. I’m siding with the LSU front seven and inevitability here.

LSU 26 – Texas 23

Teams: Buffalo (1-0) at #15 Penn State (1-0)
Time (TV): 7:30 pm (FOX)
Interest: 1
Cheer For: Penn State

New Penn State starting quarterback Sean Clifford had a nice debut last week against the overmatched Idaho Vandals. Clifford completed 14-of-23 passes for 280 yards and a pair of touchdowns. He also rushed for 57 yards on seven attempts. If he can continue to be a threat on the ground this season, then the Penn State offense could be more dangerous than expected. Clifford has a number of receiving options, but we’ll see how he does against better defenses. He won’t be facing one of those better defenses in this one, however, so it won’t matter.

Penn State 45 – Buffalo 17

Teams: Western Michigan (1-0) at #18 Michigan State (1-0)
Time (TV): 7:30 pm (BTN)
Interest: 2
Cheer For: Michigan State

The Spartans opened up as 17.5-point favorites, but that is now down to -16. They are 1-7 against the spread in their last eight games at home. These two teams have played three times since 2013, with Michigan State winning by 14, 13, and 13. That span covers both good and bad WMU teams. Michigan State didn’t look great in their season opener, scoring just 28 points and putting up just 303 yards of total offense against Tulsa. They may only need 28 points again this week, but it would be good to see them run the ball better than they did a week ago.

Michigan State 27 – Western Michigan 10

Teams: Arkansas (1-0, 0-0) at Ole Miss (0-1, 0-0)
Time (TV): 7:30 pm (SECN)
Interest: 1
Cheer For: Ole Miss

Arkansas vs. Ole Miss is the South’s oldest football rivalry. For 108 consecutive years they have met on the gridiron and played for Uncle Buggy’s Nightcrawler Bucket. There is no greater trophy in the SEC, especially among the seven worm-based trophies still alive in the conference. Only 13 people in American can name players on both of these teams. None of them are reading the Tip Sheet (or writing it).

Arkansas 27 – Ole Miss 24

Teams: Miami (0-1, 0-0) at North Carolina (1-0, 0-0)
Time (TV): 8:00 pm (ACCN)
Interest: 3.5
Cheer For: North Carolina

The Hurricanes have had a week off to forget about their season-opening loss, not that they let losses get to them since it’s just part of their daily lives. Starting 0-2, however, wouldn’t be a good move. North Carolina came from behind to beat South Carolina last week. They were led by true freshman quarterback Sam Howell, who completed 15-of-24 passes for 245 yards and two touchdowns. Howell was originally committed to Florida State. He also had Ohio State after him. Then one day Mack Brown showed up, handed him a Werther’s Original, and talked to him about the secrets to catching the perfect bluegill. Miami is favored by 4.5 points, which seems odd because they are on the road and I’m not sure they have a ride to the game.

North Carolina 23 – Miami 20

Teams: #25 Stanford (1-0, 0-0) at USC (1-0, 0-0)
Time (TV): 10:30 pm (ESPN)
Interest: 2
Cheer For: Stanford

Remember when this used to be an interesting game. Now it’s only interesting because it used to be interesting. In fact, this game should probably be played in Branson, Missouri. You are rooting for Stanford because they beat Northwestern last week and so now you and Stanford are connected for the rest of the season. But let’s face it, this was the only way you were ever going to be connected to Stanford. The Trojans lost starting quarterback JT Daniels last week, so they’ll be relying on a true freshman this week. Even though a handful of freshman quarterbacks got wins last week, they weren’t coached by Clay Helton.

Stanford 24 – USC 13

Teams: Minnesota (1-0) at Fresno State (0-1)
Time (TV): 10:30 pm (CBSSN)
Interest: 3
Cheer For: Minnesota

The Gophers had to win it in the fourth quarter last week against South Dakota State. This game feels a lot like last week’s game between Purdue and Nevada. Neither Minnesota or Purdue have proven that they can win these idiotic road games routinely, so you have to be aware of a loss coming. Fresno State lost by eight at USC last week. I will be pretty shocked if the Gophers can win this one. They have the running backs and receivers, but I’m not sure they’ve got a quarterback who can avoid the costly mistakes.

Fresno State 27 – Minnesota 24