The Buckeye-Less Watch: Never An Off Week

For the first time this season, I had a free Saturday to just do nothing and watch football.

Being the workaholic that I am — I love workahol — I couldn’t just sit and do nothing, so I kept a running “Buckeye Watch” going, even though the Buckeyes weren’t playing.

Turns out, there was quite a bit to keep an eye on. Fortunately, I had two televisions, a laptop, and a phone all showing games for the entirety of the day. As long as there were games to watch, I was watching them.

It was a good day, and that’s not even including the Georgia loss.

It was also a long day, and for that, my apologies.

12:00 My television set up for the noon game features Oklahoma-Texas on my main television, Michigan-Illinois on my Roku television, South Carolina-Georgia on the laptop, and Maryland-Purdue on my phone.

12:02 The refs have issued unsportsmanlike conduct penalties on every single player in the Red River Shootout due to a pregame fracas, meaning any unsportsmanlike penalties from here on out today result in an ejection. I’ve never seen that before, but that’s a pretty impactful decision by the game’s officials.

12:05 Ten seconds into the Indiana game and Rutgers is already down by seven. And they started with the ball. It might be time for them to drop down to FCS.

12:13 Hassan Haskins, Michigan’s freshman running back who was signed as a possible linebacker, just had a nice touchdown run for the Wolverines. He broke some Illinois tackles, which tells you how bad Illinois’ run defense is. Michigan ran the ball on every play to open the game and went right down the field. This is football fool’s gold for Michigan, but false confidence can help at times too.

12:28 Michigan’s “Speed in Space” = Play-action bootleg to the fullback at the goal line. Josh Gattis is a wizard! You should see him do the trick where he removes his thumb. I believe that was actually the trick that got him hired here.

12:30 Jalen Hurts tears off for a long run and fumbles on his way down. Texas’ terrible defense sort of bails themselves out.

12:32 South Carolina with the touchdown against the already-invited-to-the-playoffs-despite-an-impending-loss-in-the-SEC-Championship-Game Georgia Bulldogs to lead it 7-3.

12:38 Purdue is up 13-0 in the first quarter on Maryland. Did Maryland use all of their good plays in the first two games of the season?

12:40 Michigan has thrown more passes to their backs than their receivers so far in the first quarter. Are the receivers not getting open or do you not have a quarterback who can get it to them? Or maybe it’s both?

12:45 I have to believe the receivers will have some big hits in this one for Michigan with how effective the running game is right now. Assuming they even want to go away from what’s working quite well. I think it would benefit Shea Patterson, unless he’s just not capable.

12:56 Jalen Hurts just threw an interception in the end zone, which is what you would hope to see from him finally this season. He is human.

12:59 It feels like Texas is holding on for dear life and I’m not sure they can do it for all four quarters.

1:16 South Carolina with a pick six on Jake Fromm. His first interception of the year. South Carolina leads it 17-10 with 1:00 to play in the second quarter. Texas and Georgia looking very “just okay” so far today. Sam Ehlinger has nowhere to throw against a Sooner defense that is still just a Big XII defense. Oklahoma is looking beatable too.

1:38 Michigan’s pass defense just gave up a touchdown to Illinois thanks to some soft tackling. Don Brown has to be rolling over in his grave.

1:41 Purdue with a pick six to go up 30-14 on Maryland. The Terps should know better than to go into West Lafayette and not expect a random dogfight. This is probably gonna cost Maryland their national title hopes as well.

1:43 As long as Georgia loses in a close one, they won’t drop much because close losses in the SEC are like big wins in any other conference.

2:02 I have waited as long as I possibly could to crack my first beer of the day. I showed immense restraint.

2:06 Shea Patterson nearly throws an interception. He just keeps getting worse and worse the longer he’s at Michigan. He’s the Benjamin Button of quarterbacks.

2:07 Michigan has been doing this thing on punts where they are pushing the opposing punt returner into the ball as it is dying on the ground, trying to cause and recover a muff. Watch this when they meet up with Ohio State, provided the Wolverines need to punt, of course.

2:13 Touchdown Texas! The Horns busted a long one and then punched it in – maybe – from two yards out. They’ll review it, but the Longhorns are somehow on the verge of tying this game. The heart of a league championship contender on full display right there.

2:18 Illinois leads Michigan 10-0 since spotting the Wolverines a 28-0 start. That was dumb of Lovie Smith.

2:22 DPJ is down for Michigan and that wouldn’t be good for an offense that needs all hands on deck. (Even if it’s just to be a decoy.)

2:24 Texas tackles as softly as ever. Oklahoma runs a flea flicker and Cee Dee Lamb is breaking tackles like he’s Jim Brown.

2:25 Three things can happen when Michigan throws the ball, and four of them are bad.

2:26 Wolverine sophomore running back Christian Turner just fumbled. Three things can happen when Michigan runs the ball, and four of them are bad. Turner was down, but the refs missed it. Replay will catch it.

2:27 Jake Fromm fumbles it and South Carolina recovers it. They’re still leading 17-10 and UGA was nearing the red zone.

2:34 Michigan punts it into the end zone. Drink! (Don’t mind if I do.)

2:38 Illinois is moving the ball on Michigan and on the verge of blowing the Wolverines out (aside from that first 28 points).

2:39 Watching Illinois pick up yards on this Michigan defense and imagining the Wolverines dealing with the Buckeyes’ talent on execution. (Emphasis on the execution part.)

2:40 Texas can’t get out of their own 20-yard line. They’ve played most of this game 85 yards away from paydirt.

2:43 Jake Fromm just threw another interception. There’s 9:25 to play and South Carolina is up 17-10 and they have the ball at their own 35-yard line.

2:48 First down for South Carolina. They get another set of downs now at midfield with eight minutes to play. They’re doing this with their backup quarterback, by the way.

2:49 Touchdown Illinois. It’s 28-17 late in the third quarter and Michigan’s offense has shown nothing this half.

2:50 Gamecocks will punt with 6:37 remaining in the game. We’ll see how good Jake Fromm is now*. He’ll have to go 96 yards. (* You can not actually judge how good a quarterback is based on a performance against South Carolina.)

2:51 Touchdown Texas! They’ve cut it back down to three at the end of the third quarter.

2:55 I have now switched my phone from Purdue to the Memphis – Temple game because Memphis is making a mad comeback and has cut it to 28-20 with 9:58 left in the game.

2:57 Georgia is nearing midfield with plenty of time to play.

2:58 Tru Wilson just fumbled for Michigan! Illinois ball down 28-17 early in the fourth quarter.

2:59 Third and seven for Georgia with 3:44 to play around the 50-yard line. The downside of drinking while watching four games is there’s never a moment to go get a beer, which is why I’m grabbing three at a time right now.

3:00 Cee Dee Lamb with another touchdown through a soft Texas defense. The average Texas woman’s hair is harder than the Texas defense. Sooners lead it 27-17 with 11:56 to play.

3:01 Georgia is in the red zone with 3:15 to play. Illinois is in the red zone with 13:27 to play. There is nothing better than this right now.

3:02 Touchdown Illinois. They have scored 24 in a row against Michigan. Nope, quarterback Matt Robinson is down by a foot or two.

3:03 Third and six for Georgia with 2:05 to play. Fromm’s throw is incomplete! There’s 1:59 to play. They will go for it here.

3:04 South Carolina gets flagged for pass interference. They held the tight end and it’s called holding. Oh, and Illinois has scored on a run up the middle. Temple is driving on Memphis. Texas isn’t doing squat I don’t think.

3:05 Touchdown Georgia! This will be reviewed. Illinois’ two-point conversion fails, but there’s a pass interference on Ambry Thomas. That’s going to be a catch for Georgia. Do you think I’ll get in trouble if I text my wife and ask her to bring me three beers?

3:06 Georgia ties it up with the extra point and South Carolina’s backup quarterback will have 1:48 to make hay. I’m going to put this game on my television and move the Red River Shootout to my laptop. Illinois picks up the two-point conversion to make it 28-25 with 12:50 to play.

3:11 Fourth and three for South Carolina about five yards short of field goal range with 45 seconds to play. They will punt here I’m guessing

3:12 South Carolina is stupidly attempting a 58-yard field goal. Will Muschamp is going to lose this game by trying an unmakeable field goal. It’s wide right and well short. Georgia gets the ball 25 yards from field-goal range with 40 seconds to play.

3:13 Michigan is going to have a third and long at the Illinois 19-yard line. Patterson runs it and is two yards short with 10:15 to play. Georgia is faced with a third and two with 28 seconds and has called a timeout.

3:15 Fromm scrambles for the first down with 20 seconds remaining. Still 10 yards outside of comfortable range. And now they are in field goal range with a first down pickup with 13 seconds to play. Rodrigo Blankenship has missed a 58-yarder and made a 50-yard today. He’s going to drill this and Will Muschamp is to blame for this loss.

3:17 Michigan is going for it from the 14-yard line on fourth and two? Patterson keeps it and picks up the first down with less than 10 minutes to play.

3:19 Incompletion for Georgia with three seconds to play. Flags are thrown. Illegal formation by Georgia. Oh man, that’s devastating. Five yards further back and now you have to kick it. Michigan just scored on a pass to DPJ to make it 35-25 with 8:57 to play.

3:20 Now Georgia is going to throw a Hail Mary from the 43-yard line.

3:21 Fox Sports’ website is terrible, by the way. Been trying to load the Red River Shootout since I moved it to the computer.

3:21 Here comes the Hail Mary…gets hit as he throws, and they are calling it a fumble and we are going to overtime.

3:23 Michigan rushed for 202 yards in the first half and now has just 39 so far in the second half. Told you, fool’s gold.

3:24 Illinois fumbles it because they are Illinois and Michigan will make this one look a lot less interesting than it actually was.

3:26 Interception South Carolina on a tipped pass! It went off the hands of the receiver who should have caught it! Gamecocks just need a field goal here and you know that’s all Muschamp will be playing for.

3:28 South Carolina had it third and two and ran the ball where the kicker wanted it. Here we go. From 33 yards out for the win. He missed it wide right! Georgia will win somehow.

3:35 Third and one for South Carolina. Just short. What do you do here? They are going. And they’re going to have to hurry. Georgia calls a timeout when South Carolina is trying to get set to run a play they weren’t sure about.

3:36 South Carolina’s offense is out on the field again. Fourth and one. First down and down to the 8-yard line!

3:39 Touchdown Texas with 1:49 to play to cut it to one score. They’ll have to go with an onside kick here. Georgia blows up the third and goal blow in the backfield, so South Carolina will have to kick another field goal. The kick is good. Gamecocks lead it 20-17 and I’m expecting Georgia to take a shot immediately and win the game.

3:43 Incomplete into the end zone on third and 10 and Georgia will have to make this from 42 yards out. He missed it wide left! South Carolina wins it! Georgia loses at home to a team that was 2-3 on the season. Nice job having Georgia ranked third in the nation, college football experts.

3:51 My 3:30 set up has Alabama-Texas A&M on my live television, Michigan State-Wisconsin on my Roku television, Florida State-Clemson on my laptop – Texas A&M just scored a touchdown, by the way – and Houston-Cincinnati on my phone. Wait, they took A&M’s touchdown off the board for some reason. It’s hard to pay attention to everything that’s going on.

3:54 I’m trying to watch Noles and Tigers on my laptop, but ESPN.com is like, “Nah – you can watch Jacksonville State and Eastern Illinois. It’s 28-20 with 7:46 to play, by the way. Kellen Mond just took it down to the 1-yard line for a first and goal for the Aggies. Touchdown on the sneak! Aggies lead it 7-0 again! That was 14 plays for the Aggies and 75 yards and over eight minutes. That’s one hell of an opening drive. They better hope their script goes beyond 14 plays.

3:57 If a loss happens in an SEC forest, but only ESPN is there to hear it, does it make a sound?

4:03 Bama receiver Jerry Jeudy is unstoppable. Ohio State should have signed him somehow. Even if it had to be against his will. “You may not like it now, but I promise you this is for the best” as you stuff him in your trunk.

4:05 Touchdown Badgers. They lead it 7-0 and that might be enough to secure the win.

4:08 Clemson is up 14-0 and it’s about time to find something else to put on this screen. Not that this was ever the right game to show.

4:09 Alabama tied it while it was on a fridge run.

4:11 So the refs don’t call the blindside block on Alabama’s touchdown. How expected.

4:14 My mother-in-law has handed me a tablet and asked me to apply a screen protector. I’m six beers in. This thing is going to have more bubbles than a baby’s bath.

4:17 Touchdown on the slant for Alabama from about 50 yards. Tide leads it 14-7 and this game is over.

4:20 Let’s be clear: a two-loss Georgia should not even sniff the playoffs. This loss to South Carolina doesn’t disqualify them from the playoffs, but it puts them on the brink. The next loss eliminates them.

4:22 Quintez Cephus with a bobbling touchdown catch at the goal line to make it 14-0 Badgers. Wisconsin might be pretty good this year. In fact, you all should start touting them as the second-best team in the nation.

4:25 This screen protector has instructions. I need a drink.

4:40 I have misplaced the tool to get these bubbles out.

4:44 I am completely sober now.

4:54 These 3:30 games are pretty lame. It doesn’t help that Foxsports.com is a complete waste of my time. I’m going to put the Bama game on my computer and watch a FOX game on my Roku television, I guess.

5:03 Heather Dinich, who covers the CFP for ESPN, says Georgia should drop out of the Top 4, which is an admission that maybe they won’t because this was still a loss to an SEC team. If you aren’t confident enough that Georgia is going to drop out of the top four, then you are part of the problem.

5:13 Texas A&M kicks a field goal at the half to go to the locker room trailing 24-13. Alabama will get the ball in the third quarter and quickly make it 31-13.

5:17 I like to have fun on Twitter.

pic.twitter.com/IMRx5RgcWH

— Tony Gerdeman (@TonyGerdeman) October 12, 2019

5:26 Houston just hit a deep shot on Cincinnati to make it 21-17 UC early in the third. Bearcats have led all game long, but now things are about to get interesting.

5:42 Alabama kicks a field goal to make it 27-13 in the third quarter. Wisconsin is still up 17-0 on Michigan State. Clemson is debacling Florida State 35-0. Arizona State has come back on Washington State to take a 24-17 lead in the third. And now it’s time for pizza.

5:51 Everything is slowing down, but this is a marathon, not a sprint. I now have my Roku TV on Wazzu at Arizona State and the Sun Devils have just given up the tying score with 5:35 to play in the third quarter.

5:53 Touchdown Wisconsin. They’re up 24-0 and I’m not sure Michigan State has enough offense in this final 13 minutes to actually score. Can the Spartans do something to keep the Badgers from winning by more than the 24 points OSU beat them by?

5:56 Touchdown for Alabama and this game is officially over. Cincinnati is inside the Houston 15-yard line with 2:13 to play in the third quarter.

6:03 Wisconsin scored again somehow.

6:06 Cincinnati scores to go up 10. Iowa State goes up by 7. And I just read that Bijan Robinson is averaging 23 yards per carry. He committed to Texas over Ohio State, so at least you’ll never have to worry about seeing him in the postseason.

6:09 Washington State recaptures the lead with a short touchdown run late in the fourth quarter to make it 31-24.

6:13 Wisconsin has scored again on a screen pass or something. Nope, a jet sweep for about 65 yards. The Spartan Dawgs have quit. Badgers lead it 38-0.

6:14 I guess it’s time for Mark Dantonio to make his defensive coaches rotate one spot to the left like he did with the offensive staff last year.

6:16 Touchdown Houston with 9:09 to play, down 28-23.

6:24 Arizona State ties it back up at 31-31 with a bunch of time left in the fourth. I’m thinking four overtimes here.

6:35 I am very tired. I need caffeinated beer.

6:38 Another touchdown for Cincinnati and they might have this one wrapped up. Arizona State, meanwhile, is backed up in their own territory with seven minutes to play, still tied at 31-31.

6:46 Wazzu hits a field goal to make it 34-31 with 2:30 to play. Alabama, meanwhile, is leading Texas A& 47-28 nine minutes to play. The Tide have rushed for 95 yards against an Aggie defense that allowed 122 yards rushing to Lamar.

6:52 Iowa State goes up by 17 over West Virginia with seven minutes to play and that’ll be it for the Mountaineers. Arizona State, meanwhile, has a first down in Wazzu territory with 48 seconds to play. They are now in field goal range.

6:53 Tom Orr is at the Northern Illinois – Ohio game, which is tied 36-36 with 1:50 to go. NIU has the ball in field goal range.

6:55 Arizona State quarterback Jayden Daniels takes it in from about 20 yards out with 34 seconds to play. I’ve watched him play a couple of times now and for a true freshman, he’s really damn good. He’s going to carve up the Pac 12 over the next three-plus years.

7:00 NIU wins it with a field goal. Sorry Tom.

7:01 Washington State is going to have about 45 yards to go for a Hail Mary to win it. Four seconds remaining. The Sun Devils get pressure and they win it to move to 5-1. Will they be ranked ahead of Georgia, he said almost seriously.

7:07 Michigan State held Jonathan Taylor to 80 yards rushing. Fantastic effort by the #SpartanDawgs today! Master Teague ran for 90 yards on them. Maybe OSU has the two best running backs in the Big Ten.

7:10 Tomorrow, JK Dobbins will be leading the Big Ten in rushing, averaging 137.7 yards per game. Wisconsin’s Jonathan Taylor is at 137.5. Dobbins has one more yard on the ground than Taylor this year in 13 fewer attempts.

7:29 Baylor and Texas Tech are headed to overtime tied at 20-20. This is what I’m here for.

7:42 Notre Dame will win, move up to eight. Georgia will be at seven because voters “can’t put Georgia behind Notre Dame!”

7:54 I like Iowa’s uniforms, but I grew up a Velveeta fan, so…

7:56 Baylor wins it. They move to 6-0 on the season and maybe we should start rooting for them in order to keep an SEC team out of the playoffs.

8:08 My night game set up has Florida-LSU on the main TV, Penn State-Iowa on the Roku TV, Minnesota-Nebraska on the laptop, and a lesser-known rivalry between USC-Notre Dame is on my phone.

8:13 Joe Burrow just stands back there like he’s in line at the bank waiting to make a deposit.

8:19 Penn State’s offensive line looks…susceptible. Iowa is giving them all kinds of trouble.

8:23 Joe Burrow throws his first touchdown of the game off of an RPO

8:24 Do you think Scott Frost will ever be able to keep his quarterbacks healthy or is this just always going to be a result of his offense?

8:28 Nebraska still has a defense problem. Minnesota is running through them like stagnant crick water through a digestive tract. Gophers now lead it 14-0.

8:39 Trevon Grimes just caught a touchdown for Florida. How many more Ohio State transfers will score this weekend? No, you don’t need to ask about Tate Martell.

8:44 Minnesota is destroying the Huskers right now. Nebraska should grayshirt the Blackshirts.

9:10 Donovan Peoples-Jones went over 1,000 yards receiving for his career today.

9:19 Emory Jones just threw a jump pass touchdown on a bobbled interception to tie the game up at 14-14 late in the second quarter. It’s former Buckeyes and near-former Buckeyes making plays all night tonight.

9:24

Dantonio asked if not making coaching changes was the right move. Says it's 7 games into season, so it's a "dumb-ass question."

— Matt Charboneau (@mattcharboneau) October 12, 2019

9:36 Touchdown Florida with bout five seconds left in the half to tie the game. I like UF quarterback Kyle Trask a lot. Why was he not starting at the outset this season?

9:56 Iowa fumbles. Running back got destroyed at the hand-off and Penn State has it in the red zone leading by one point in the third quarter.

10:00 Touchdown Penn State. But it’s close. ABC has the camera and the capability to go frame by frame on that Penn State touchdown down the goal line and didn’t do it. They are wasting their toys.

10:02 Kyle Trash is abusing the LSU corners with the back shoulder. Don’t look so “DBU” to me.

10:03 Penn State’s touchdown was overturned and now because of a pair of penalties they have third and goal from the 21-yard line. Florida just scored a touchdown and receiver Van Jefferson just took a massive shot to the back and held on. That might be a pair of collapsed lungs and a displaced spine.

10:15 Been impressed by Florida. I didn’t even know that was possible anymore.

10:20 LSU touchdown. They’ll tie it up here with 7:12 to play in the third. Shaping up to be a memorable finish. Notre Dame is up 10 in the fourth, not that anybody cares.

10:34 Another long touchdown run for LSU. This time by a different guy than the guy who had the last one. LSU leads it 35-28 late in the third.

10:36 That was a questionable pass interference call against Penn State, which followed a questionable touchdown overturn earlier. No worries, the Nittany Lions just picked off Nate Stanley, who is not a very good quarterback.

10:38 Just like me, these games are winding down even though there is still plenty of time to play.

10:56 I don’t know what targeting is and neither do you and neither do the refs. A Penn State defender just launched his head at a receiver and was flagged, but then it was overturned. I guess the Targeting coin came up tails.

11:01 Dan Mullen gets cute, calls a play-action on third and one and Kyle Trask throws an interception in the end zone. That’s a killer, but there’s still seven minutes to play. Iowa failed to convert a two-point conversion, so they trail by five with 2:30+ to play.

11:07 Joe Burrow just sealed the deal with a deep ball for six, and Penn State picked up a first down with under two minutes to play. This feels like a good place to call it a night. Thanks for indulging me.